Why You Should Let Other People Dress You

The Lolita Fashion Youtubers’ Dress Me Up Collab, which I took part in, has gotten me thinking about how wonderful it is to be dressed by other people. At the same time, I’m aware that this isn’t something that everyone will have done, for a variety of reasons. So to encourage you all to give this a go - as well as to add a bit of extra promotion to the collab, my video from it is here and you should absolutely check out what everyone has done - here are some of the reasons of why letting others dress you is a great idea.

1. Opening New Possibilities

The first and foremost benefit is that we all have a different perspective, as well as preferences when it comes to styling. With lolita fashion in particular having a strong focus on creativity and self-expression, we are more inclined to want to find as many ways to wear what we have as possible (that’s also great environmentally and economically as the price-per-wear will go down with each coord!). But it’s easy to get stuck thinking within the box of what you know and have done. Bringing in an outsider to both your wardrobe and your head is the fastest way to smash that in-the-box thinking by showing you options that were hiding in plain sight. Once you see this new-to-you combination or try this trick that hadn’t even crossed your mind before, you will look at your wardrobe differently and wonder what else you could try this same idea with. This refuels your creative drive, gets you even more excited by the things you already own instead of pining after the next purchase, and before you know it that price-per-wear has gone even further down with all the outfits that you created as a direct result of someone else’s input.

Outfit courtesy of @a.gatogetaway

2. An Expression of Love and/or Appreciation

Without having the data to back it up, I imagine that one of the reasons that stops people from asking others to dress them is because they feel like they don’t have anyone to ask. The fact that lolita fashion comes with all these “rules” can make it seem like only another lolita could do it, which would be hard if you don’t yet have lolita friends to call upon. Newsflash: this barrier is entirely made up! In fact, I’d argue that getting people who don’t wear lolita to try their hand at putting together a coord is a much more effective way at getting out of your comfort zone since they will bring in a completely fresh perspective. And the people in your life who love and appreciate you: family, friends, partner, anyone close enough to you to know that this is a fashion that you wear, would probably feel honoured to be asked because they will already know what this fashion means to you and how carefully you select each item that goes in. Being able to do that for you would be a way for them to show you how they see you in those clothes and try to bring some more joy into your life because you deserve it. And if they really don’t have a clue about how to put together a lolita outfit - just guide them a little.

Coord courtesy of Nat from @petticats

3. Removes the Burden of Thinking

As much as we love to express ourselves creatively through the coords we put together, sometimes the energy just is. not. there. Life gets in the way, but the meetup or occasion that you want to dress up for is still there regardless. If someone has already done the thinking for you and created an outfit that just needs putting on, then you absolutely should take advantage of that. Preserve your energy for what matters, which is enjoying the outing, by taking what someone else has already offered to you and throwing it on. And if you’re a new lolita or about to go to your first meetup: having someone who’s been in the fashion for a bit giving you a coordinate will ease some of the pressure of wanting to make a good first impression. This used to be a common February theme on Livejournal, right after everyone had shared their wardrobe posts in January, which has disappeared slightly, but I’m sure if someone were to start a thread like this in Rufflechat or one of the Discord servers you may be in, an option would come around. That’s how I’ve gone to my first meetup and can hand on heart say that it made me feel calmer enough to actually enjoy myself instead of worrying about how I looked.

Coord courtesy of @zixizel

If you’ve never had someone create a lolita coordinate for you and you are reading this post, hopefully you will take it as a sign from the universe to have a go. Ask someone you trust, start a thread/challenge in your local community, join a collaboration like the one the Lolita Fashion Youtubers group has done. And most importantly: have fun with it. Because if you’re not having fun with that whole process, then you’re definitely doing it wrong and missing the point!

1 Dress 4 Looks Take 65

Look who’s here! Another addition to my celebration of my own heritage, Lady Sloth’s Slavic Bestiary is going to allow me to do that in a darker way. At least in themes since I still opted for the white colourway. I am yet to actually wear it, which is fine, this post may help me explore some of the possible options before deciding on one.

Look 1: Witcher Witch

| Bodyline blouse | Snag Tights White Russian fishnets | Hush Puppies boots | Rose Thorn hat | offbrand corset and necklace | Amastacia earrings | Le Petit Four ring | Amadea Kingdom The Adventurer D20 brooch | Violet Fane The Apotheque brooch |

Starting out with something that is going to be a bit of a work in progress until I have an occasion to wear this. This look sits somewhere between a witch who hunts beasts and a witch who studies them, and is one of the ideas I had in mind since purchasing the dress. I would love to take it to the next level with even more elements leaning into the fantasy, like belts and pouches, as well as introduce more browns for some balance. This is a good start for it and I’m excited to play with the idea some more.

Look 2: Monochrome Goth

| AatP jacket | Angelic Pretty Lovely Ribbon OTKs | offbrand boots and gloves | Antique Beast headdress | Le Petit Four necklace | Patisserie Pink Bottled Stardust brooch |

Black and white is a timeless combo for gothic looks, gotta show some of that. And the way this jacket works with this dress, both in shape and in vibes, is particularly satisfying. Yes, I would prefer to use some legwear option with silver - the reason I went with these socks is because the gold on them is the lightest of the various white x gold OTKs and tights that I own, so once worn they would probably blend in a bit better. Other than this though all this look needs is some dark makeup and maybe some black hair.

Look 3: Greyscale Goth

| offbrand blouse | Jane Marple OTKs | Vivienne Westwood x Melissa Anglomania heels | vintage hat | Annzley corset | Puvithel Crystal Heart necklace | Eulalia earrings | handmade bracelets |

Even though the dress is a pretty bright off-white, the black print with plenty of writing in the background results in the dress reading as quite grey. And the grey pieces work beautifully with the JSK thanks to that. Here I’ve taken a more elegant approach, which the flatlay only partially conveys, I think that with the appropriate styling and on a body the outfit would come together as much more elegant. I toyed with the idea of using my opera gloves, however, their length wouldn’t look so good with these sleeves, probably not even if I pushed them up. Maybe this is a sign from the universe that I could do with a pair of black wrist cuffs?

Look 4: Fern Flower Princess

| Millefleurs Georgette blouse | Angelic Pretty Salon de The Rose OTKs | Irregular Choice Flickety Kiss shoes | Le Petit Four headpiece | offbrand hair clips | Tiny Passerine Creations necklace | Gravelvet Iridescent Princess necklace | Slightly Ghosts Forget-Me-Not brooch |

Believe it or not, this outfit started out as a much more monochrome (black and white) version with blue accents, all because the dress is definitely a cool tone and because I really wanted to use this pin. That original attempt was much less successful, but the process of the outfit literally morphing in front of my eyes as changes happened piece by piece was pretty satisfying. The blue/mint colour scheme with the many florals reminded me of the legend of the fern flower, and since the look is definitely very fancy, it gets to be the princess of this lineup.


There is one more look that would have featured in here, however, it was so good that I was keen on wearing it as soon as possible, so instead you will see that in this month’s coords roundup post (or on Instagram). All of my other ideas for it, whilst fine and just as good as these four, made me feel like I am overthinking both coordinating this dress and what to show in this post, which is partly why I’ve kept things a bit simpler and maybe more predictable here. It’s my own reminder to myself that not everything needs to be super original every single time and that taking the easy route is not cheating, it’s just wearing clothes in ways that feel natural for them. Still, I’m sure that once it comes to wearing this dress out, there will be lots of very fun options to explore.

Lolita Fashion's True Royalty

Lolita fashion designers love a royalty-inspired motif. From as obviously teaboo as Innocent World (seriously, I love Fujiwara-san, but at one point this was a bit of a British Karen Mum Energy with the releases) to as country-less common imagery as crowns, with all the Sissis and Marie Antoinettes in between, lolita fashion is stuffed with references to royalty, not unlike the early 2010s being full of those Marilyn Monroe handbags. If we are going to celebrate royalty within our community, then I think we should celebrate our own.

All hail Queen Cat!

Enchantlic Enchantilly’s Queen Cat has been so popular that she’s featured in their designs pretty regularly since 2014. Even though I haven’t felt much need to own any of the clothing from the series, both the range and the overwhelming cuteness of the accessories is chef’s kiss. Come join me on a little Lolibrary dive through some of my favourite items featuring this Very Clearly Unimpressed If Not Downright Pissed Off Feline Royalty.

Queen Cat x Michal Negrin

Lolibrary listing.

Whilst Michal Negrin’s accessories aren’t particularly popular amongst lolitas outside of Japan (most likely due to cost), it is so wonderfully intricate and already oozing old money glam. That is precisely the kind of lush goodness that Queen Cat should be surrounded by and these collaboration pieces really come together into one stunning design. The barrette is probably my favourite and it was a lovely surprise to find it modelled by a Black model too (if anyone knows her name, please, let me know, I’d love to give them the proper recognition). The way Queen Cat peeks out from the corner of the cameo makes her look even more judgemental of the peasants around her and that is precisely the kind of royal energy that we love to see in lolita.

Lolibrary listing.

Cushion

Lolibrary listing.

Oh, it is so undignified to be reduced to just a cute mascot, which is precisely why this stuffed cushion is extra cute and funny! Our poor, fluffy queen who, judging by her expression, never lets anyone unworthy even think about touching her luscious fur, now in a cuddly toy that you can squish to your heart’s content. The irony! But hey, if the British royals have found a way to live with being souvenirs for the tourists because it makes them money, then I’m sure that she has too. Even if she’s even less happy about that than she is about everything else about the appalling state of affairs around her. (And at least this one, unlike the hand towel version, isn’t wiping anyone’s sweat - disgusting!)

Scarf

Lolibrary listing.

Now this, on the other hand - this is very much worthy of royalty! The soft fabric, the golden tassels, the luxurious warmth it offers as you wrap it around your neck, everything about this scarf is made to Queen Cat’s exacting standards. Again, she is peering even more judgmentally over here from each frame, but imagine the fun ways that you could tie that scarf around yourself and have those all-seeing eyes be visible from between your coat’s lapels. That way you could be her trusted spy, the advisor who will let her survey her lands without needing to compromise her safety or without the risk of mixing with the unworthy. If you do a really good job, she will purr with contentment whilst wrapped around your neck like this and that is the most royal treatment that any of us can hope for in this life to be honest. Sure, you could achieve similar things with the phone case, but that comes without the warming and purring additions, so treat yourself to the highest luxury available

Secret Library rings

Lolibrary listing.

Of the many jewellery items, the rings from the Queen Cat ~ Secret Library release hold a special place in my heart. Not just because I own the book ring myself, but because of the library theme overall. A true queen is educated to the highest standard and Queen Cat is no different. Look at the way she is staring down her royal advisors from the moral high ground of the book she’s perched upon. This is a look that tolerates no fool and that keeps those pesky royal advisors in their damn place! This series also gave us such a wonderful glimpse into the royal palace and what splendid objects we might find here. You didn’t really expect a queen like this to have a clock any less elaborate than this, did you?

Queen Cat Marie necklace

Lolibrary listing.

Although if I’m honest, as far as Queen Cat jewellery goes, this is probably my actual favourite. Queen Cat saw what her rival, Marie Antoinette, was wearing and demanded that she be given something like it, with the effect being truly opulent. Some of it is likely that Enchantlic Enchantilly predominantly make acrylic jewellery, so this departure from their usual style stands out as befitting feline royalty. The rich colours would work beautifully with her light fur, irrespective of which colourway she’d choose to wear, and the framed cameo portraits are just the right level of vanity that we indulge royals in displaying. If I could ever manage to find this (because yes, the regret of missing out on this by 7 years is real right now), I would love to find that light green version.

*~*~*~*

When the Bibliotheca bloggers have voted that the theme for May should be royalty, the obvious thing to do would have been to put together a few coords appropriate for the coronation of Charles III. Except that the royal family can actually go stuff themselves, I’d like everyone outside the UK to know that the mood was more anti-monarchy protests and enjoying the extra day off rather than saying the pledge of allegiance, and even though I watched the ceremony, I can’t say that it enriched my life in any way (though I do have a few mental notes that I will probably use at one point or another when writing). Queen Cat though? I would pledge my allegiance to her in a heartbeat!

As always, make sure to subscribe to the Bibliotheca mailing list, so that you can catch the monthly newsletter of what the participating bloggers have been up to. The newsletter features some highlight posts from the month, as well as the ones written to the monthly theme, and with the range of J-fashion styles presented there you are sure to find something that interests you in the monthly digest.