Cupcake Kamisama's Lolita World: 2025

8 Aug 2025

1 Dress 4 Looks Take 75

You know that a release is limited when you stop talking to your boyfriend for five minutes in the middle of waiting for a table at a restaurant on his birthday weekend to buy it. Yup, true story of how I acquired this dress. A few months of production time later The Black Ribbon’s Rococo Rose is with me in all its classic glory. Just in case Meta’s Charlotte JSK wasn’t enough classic florals to add to my wardrobe.

Look 1: Delicate Pink

First is an attempt at getting close to a monochrome. Not easy given the base shade of this fabric. I thankfully have enough of similar things to put something together and this is definitely a coord that’d be easy to throw on for a last minute meetup or something. Or even for a solo potter around a museum (haven't done that in a wihle).

Look 2: Tea Rose

Named so not because of the colour of the flower, but because I wanted to infuse the coord with a tea theme. Tbh, just thinking about it makes me want to put the kettle on and brew something nice to go with this. Still keeping it simple and trying to maintain the focus more on the necklaces, but it’s just that little bit more interesting than merely an ivory-based coord.

Look 3: Softly Blue

Despite getting rid of a lot of my blue pieces, I am still keeping some and therefore can pull out the soft blue accents from the print. Hopefully. The bonnet is taking this into quite OTT territory, which may be a bit of an overkill. The picture doesn’t seem to do those blue flowers in the print the kind of justice that I was hoping for though and the whole thing looks like it needs a bit more blue, as well as some interest, across the skirt or torso. Maybe the morun x muuna stoik overskirt would’ve fixed that?

Look 4: Fresh Spring

I see green in the fabric and I add green to the outfit, simple as that. I tried to vary it up a little from the many previous variations by not going for the same OTKs or headbow as I usually do. And let me tell you, I’m very glad that I got that beret, even if it took me a while to realise the Imogen’s Imagination’s beret supremacy.

This soft shade of pink is pretty close to my Victorian Maiden dress, so I will also be trying ideas similar to what I’ve done with that. I can’t necessarily replicate the coords that I put together for that dress because I no longer own a big bunch of those pieces, plus by virtue of being a pattern, this one’s less versatile than a solid coloured main piece. Still, Rococo Rose will find a good home in my wardrobe and I may even (gasp) wear it as a sundress during the next round of heatwaves. It’s not like anyone can stop me.

1 Aug 2025

July Coords Roundup

It seems that we’ve had nearly every possible weather in July and I frilled through practically all of it.

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Coord 1: Pop Gig

This is very much how pleased I was with the separate layers working seamlessly as one.

It's funny to think of my VW jewellery as the most normie jewellery I have.

I wasn’t even going to put on any frills. The weather was still warm and the gig venue would get even warmer, so I wanted maximum comfort. But as I played around with the bottom part of this apron in normie settings and it wasn’t working, my mind naturally went to this skirt – and the rest sort of just happened. It’s fun how despite being two different pieces, the mesh top and the apron skirt look like one. Everything else was kept relatively simple (one could say even quite normie), so that I didn’t have to interact too much at the gig. The gig itself was amazing, I went to see Matt Hansen after it was rescheduled from March and had the time of my life, singing every song along with the crowd. It was the epitome of the performer giving his best and standing in that crowd highlighted for me how girl gigs hit very different from boy gigs (better imho).

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Coord 2: Homely Charlotte

Entering my floral dress era (finally).

Love that cute lil' charm.

I've owned this dress for too long without wearing it, to the point where it became a point on my weekly to-do list. I deliberately kept the coord simple, prioritising ease of wearing and comfort since all I did was stay at home, catch up on Bake Off: The Professionals, and play DnD in the evening. The DnD session was the reason for this brooch over one of the other more floral ones. And it was a lucky charm of sorts as not only we finished the campaign that we started… oh boy, I think 3 years ago now? – but we also managed to get the happy ending for everyone. Emotional times ensued and as a reward for completing my first DnD campaign, I finally bought the set of rose quartz dice that has been on my mind since at least the end of last year.

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Coord 3: Meta Weekend

Always, always, always happy to wear this silly dress!

showing off the earrings, kawaii tootache edition.

Taking advantage of the weather being cooler, I brought out the orange. In a really simple way since, again, all I did was stay at home and do little bits. Including cooking up a bolognese sauce, which I’m not sure is the definition of courage or hubris when done in your most expensive, white dress, but I am happy to report that nothing happened to it. There is something interesting about the fact that some people associate me with the red/white/blue tricolour and others associate me with orange because of this dress. The duality of woman means that both are true, yet somehow, with how everything else has been going, the orange may be a little bit more me now than the tricolour?

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Coord 4: Dark Retro

I've been really enjoying eyeliner-free looks recently.

Potentially using this coord as an excuse to get more neckerchiefs...

This coord is an exercise in “you can’t always plan everything”. I wanted to wear this OP. Looked through past coords and realised that I like it most when it’s styled in a fairly simple, classic, almost normie way, with an A-line silhouette. Decided to go darker with black, maybe lean a touch more gothic. And on the day, once the hair did its thing, as I was thinking what to put on my neck, I tried the scarf – and voila! I’m pretty happy with the result. Not like, ecstatic, but pretty happy. In a good way. It’s what I wanted, I felt good, considered whether I now need this OP in other colours, then went back to just enjoying a quiet working day.

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Coord 5: Too Hot – And Yet

That colour changing blush from Barry M has been a real blessing during the hot days.

I will always hate coffee, but will also always love these earrings.

Otherwise known as the summer heatwave coord. Inspired by coord pics from people in the actual hot and tropical countries like Brazil, who still rock their frills, just in a much less by-the-rulebook way, I decided to have a go myself. And I see where they’re coming from, they are onto something. Because like I said back at the Geek Fayre, I would’ve been hot in anything, so might as well wear something cute – and this was actually pretty cool and served my needs well.

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Coord 6: Book Date

I've gotten quite into French-braiding my hair around the mid-month point. I'm awful at it, but have found it oddly easier than regular braids? And these all came out way better than when I had long hair.

These Primark rings, I swear... Part of me thinks that if I ever find proper equivalents, I won't like them as much as I do these cheap ones.

I wasn’t planning on getting dressed up that day. But then my boyfriend asked me if I’d like to go with him to Waterstones and I immediately turned this into a lil’ adventure. Heathenous frilling continues with blouseless, bare-legged, sandal looks, but it was still very warm. I’m very pleased with how it came together, it’s exactly the sort of faux vintage, quite relaxed look that I wanted dresses like this in my wardrobe for. I ended up buying two books (we imposed a limit on ourselves so as to not go overboard) and then bought frozen pizzas to enjoy for dinner. A great date, all that could’ve improved it would be a fun drink, but the queues were too long to deal with.

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Coord 7: Blessed Rains

Ah yes, this is some point when I've fucked up my fringe with a way too careless trim, so please, don't look too closely at that.

Honestly, little beats a good cameo.

It’s been so warm and finally crashed with some rains, which thankfully coincided with me working from home. And it was finally cool enough for a long sleeve OP, so I wasted no time. The coord is basically a hatless version of the one from the 1 Dress 4 Looks Take 69 post – I tried the hat, but this style doesn’t work with a fringe and I had already curled it. Still, it made me feel elegant and like I should be going out to a soiree instead of hanging up laundry in between sitting at my desk. At least the Romantic Novelists’ Association meeting was that evening, so it wasn’t totally wasted.

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Coord 8: Folklore Summer

Fringe makes wearing rectangle headdresses soooo much easier. I see why people love them. But I'm not sure if I'll stick with the fringe for long enough to make getting more worth it.

Forever folklore.

Capitalising on another cooler day, I decided to try something more folk-leaning with this JSK, since I wasn’t feeling anything black and I like how this dress can lean almost dirndl-looking. Although the discrepancy between the hemlines bothers me a little, overall I’m pretty pleased with this coord. Again, not wildly into it, but liking the result and how I felt. Maybe once I finally get my act together and get that wine underskirt, it will even itself out for future attempts.

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Coord 9: Blind Boxes and Bevs + DnD

I tried a baby blue and pink makeup, which may not have quite worked out, but it still looked really fun. I also went for a more aegyo sal accentuating makeup, but I don't have a selfie that showcases both.

Sipping on my petty fun drink.

Me? Overstretching myself socially? Whatever gave that away? The meetup to exchange blind boxes over some food and drinks was in my calendar for a while, whereas the first session of the new DnD campaign got added to the day considerably later. I had this vision of an outfit that was cool, matching the market we ate at, looking like it'd fit against the backdrop of vintage film posters and neon signs. And thus this coord was born, after a few initial early attempts. It felt great to wear it, I love styling Konbini Market in such ways, the print lending itself well to more street fashion looks. It's a little sad then that the meet venue was too loud to comfortably converse. Even worse, my shoe literally disintegrated as I got off the train in Leeds and I had to make an emergency stop at Shoezone. But all in all, it was a good day. Long – but good.

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Coord 10: Gig Night

Feeling like that bitch with my winged eyeliner and long braid.

RIP Ruby Rose, I still think about all the things I didn't get from you.

Boyfriend took me to the Billy Eilish gig and I tried my best to dress in something cool. I still wanted it to be lolita, which sadly meant not being able to wear my big fluffy NieR Clothing jacket, as that is just too long. But pink and black feel cool, so with a little bit of faffing here and there, I was able to put this together accompanied by “How It’s Done” from Kpop Demon Hunters (which I am still yet to see, but the tune is banging). I’m indifferent to Billie Eilish, but it’s nothing new for me now to go to gigs of artists that I only sort of like as a plus one. It was more like date night where we went out for food first and had the gig after. Shame it was a Wednesday, because I really would’ve loved to sleep off the gig before having to go to work. It was great, the biggest one I’d ever attended, literally never been in a queue that long – and once again, girl gigs are way better than boy gigs, nuff said.

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Coord 11: Love Stories etc. Day 1

The fringe was wild in the morning! It settled later in the day with the humidity, but I didn't take any selfies later, so we're going to immortalise this instead.

Obviously I was going to wear a book necklace to a book event.

Love Stories etc. is a 2-day festival all about romance books – and the moment I saw it, I knew that I had to go. A chance to learn more about the inner works of the romance publishing industry, meet fellow writers/readers and industry professionals, talk kissing books for two days straight, and potentially make exactly the right connection? Erm, hell yeah! Although in my books, I opened the weekend with a toned down and simple coord, it still got plenty of compliments (and rightfully so, this dress is gorgeous). I even got recognised as a lolita by one of the invited authors who told me that her daughter wears lolita too, so in the nicest possible way, I’m not determined to see how many levels of separation we’ve crossed because lolita comms in the UK are so niche that we probably have plenty of mutuals somewhere. The day was great, I got the most generous goodie bag with my VIP ticket, and even though I was knackered by the end of it (a 10am to 8pm plus commuting is no joke), I left intellectually enriched and with my heart filled with positive energy. Not unlike from lolita events, really.

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Coord 12: Love Stories etc. Day 2

I almost didn't wear these glasses - but they were too perfect for a romance event to resist!

Also got to rep and advertise Folk and Fortune to so many people there (understandably), I hope she gets lots of sales when she reopens.

By Day 2, despite my energy levels dropping due to physical tiredness, I was even more determined to wear a fun outfit, despite initial intentions to keep things toned down. Again, for lolita, this is relatively chill, but obviously in a normie crowd it wildly stands out. The pops of red were mainly a result of me needing to stick to practical, comfortable shoes (once again, RIP Bodyline tea parties), but they really lift this coord into that realm of fun and a little quirky by normie standards. Not pictured is the Big Bow Backpack that I carried with me alongside the tote because a girl needs her stuff, but also some cushioning for her back. Another long, yet eventful and upbeat day, finished off with a great afterparty (though a far more adult one than the lolita ones like TQiD’s!) have left me feeling like my communities have expanded with another wonderful place filled with inspiring, supportive people, and I cannot wait to dive into that world more.

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Coord 13: Recycled Pile

Placed the beret differently because of my hairdo and wanting the decoration to be visible, and somehow I look even more continental?

Dotty bows everywhere!

Recycled as in I had this outfit planned and assigned forever ago in Whering and didn’t wear it for various reasons, then totally forgot about it. But I remembered now. It’s more of a classic Paulina look, been a while since I’ve done one of those and it still feels good to wear. Although it was definitely too warm to wear that jacket beyond the photos, even though it had cooled down.

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Some of these coords had not come without a sacrifice of comfort. There were plenty of moments that highlighted for me (once again) how summer NOT ready my wardrobe at large is and that I need to accept that global warming hasn’t left my corner of the world unaffected. I am also finding myself already longing for the cooler autumn days and knitwear, that is clearly where I thrive. But I try not to wish my life away and let’s have a fun August before those warmer days disappear for another six to nine months.

18 Jul 2025

Is EGL Fashion Still E?

Look up definitions of the word “elegant” and what you’ll find points to things that are relatively conservative-leaning. They’ll talk about grace and being attractive in appearance, they’ll mention being refined and dignified, they’ll include the ideas of luxury and tastefulness in that, they’ll refer you to synonymous words such as stylish, beautiful, and sophisticated. Both now and in the past, our idea of elegance was shrouded in an aspirational spirit. It was something to strive for to match the occasion (think being a wedding guest) or even to elevate oneself to (as daily elegance was afforded to upper social classes more easily than the working ones). For all that the concept of elegance may be relatively achievable, since most visual representations of it that you’ll see lie in simplicity (“simple” being so often paired with “elegant” in all those SEO-optimised entries), societally it is an incredibly classist concept, rooted not just in timelessness, but in quality that is durable and therefore, costly.

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels.

When the terms Elegant Gothic Lolita and Elegant Gothic Aristocrat were first being coined, you could see those values represented in the clothes themselves. Look through the first few issues of Gothic & Lolita Bible and you’ll find simpler silhouettes with tactically used details amongst all brand releases, even the sweet ones like BtSSB. That lolita fashion back in 2001 was borrowing a lot more from gothic was evident in how it looked then, aided by the state of textile technology at the time that hadn’t yet given us the prints that the fashion is known for now. Whether you consider that 2000s lolita fashion look gothic or not, it was certainly fair to call it elegant, even by mainstream fashion standards.

Left to right: Maxicimam's Large Rose Print Torchon Lace JSK, BtSSB's Tartan Check JSK, and Moi-meme-Moitie's EGL-04027 JSK.
All photos from Lolibrary.org.

But what about now? Whilst more streamlined, sophisticated designs are certainly coming out of the gothic and classic brands, those aren’t the most representative examples of lolita fashion in 2025. And for all that our shadowban fighting is making many switch from using “lolita fashion” in favour of “EGL” or “EGL fashion”, is it still accurate to call it all elegant? Is Meta’s Frill JSK’s elegant the same as that of Atelier Pierrot’s Blessed Veil OP or as Sheglit’s Cross Strap JSK? How does AP’s Compact Toys series or BtSSB’s Sweetheart Parfaiteria series or even AatP’s Poseidon Chris fit into the idea of elegant? I think that if we are to be able to continually call every substyle of lolita fashion EGL, then we need to shift some definitions of “elegant” around.

Left to right: AP's Compact Toys JSK, BtSSB's Sweetheart Parfaiteria Scallop JSK, and AatP's Poseidon Chris JSK.
All photos from Lolibrary.org.

Whilst the EGL label, from what I see, is fine to remain as it is when referring to gothic lolitas (duh!) and classic, since they attempt to look traditionally elegant far more than cute, to use it in reference to sweet lolita feels like a bit of a stretch – in the context of all lolita fashion. When in contrast to mainstream fashion, all substyles of lolita, sweet included, embody some qualities that are encapsulated by elegance. With the self-explanatory exception of casual, lolita is a much more formal fashion than mainstream wear. Yes, sexy elegant exists, but for the most part even mainstream fashion considers elegance to be relatively demure, something which lolita fashion has plenty of in its core guidelines.

Moreover, sweet prints might not be the immediate first thing that comes to mind at the word “elegant”, but even the princessy solid-coloured cupcake dresses of today, whilst over the top, have that fairytale kind of elegance. Because it’s not always about clean silhouettes and minimal details – historical nobility, whose fashion lolita takes plenty of inspiration from, would certainly have a lot to say about the elegance of frills, laces, and adornments. It’s important to remember that whilst fashion influences can come from anywhere, one of EGL’s original inspirations were the Victorians and the French Rococo. That is an entirely separate understanding of the concept of elegance, one which has not survived the WWII fabric rationing and the subsequent rise of youth culture as the driving force of fashion as opposed to rich aristocracy. How both ironic and fitting that lolita fashion, inspired by clothes from a time when the rich aristocratic adults dictated what’s fashionable, is craved by the youths, yet afforded most easily by the adults of today.

Left to right: Meta's Eternal Bride JSK, Mengfuzi's Showa Doll JSK, AP's Sugar Wing JSK.
All photos from Lolibrary.org.

On the other hand, the nuances of 2025’s digital age have affected lolita fashion in ways that I think take it away from being “elegant”. For the majority of its wearers it remains a means of self-expression and part of community bonding. Lolitas gather, both in person and online, and the clothes are both our main subject of interest and a way to spot one of us in the wild. But there is no denying that against a sea of the mainstream, alternative fashions stand out and of the substyles that we have, sweet lolita is the most visible one. And there are some who are more interested in the performance potential that it offers than in the fashion itself. A bright pastel coord attracts attention, which may just be the hook that a content creator needs to win against the algorithm of their content platform of choice. Whilst this can still be a fun exploration of one’s individual style, it is anything but elegant, curated to attract attention first and feel authentic second. To me, whether you understand elegance through the dictionary definitions or the historical context, that kind of attitude simply doesn’t align with the concept. It isn’t inherently wrong nor does it make those acting like bad people. But it does make calling that EGL feel disingenuous.

Whilst there is an argument to be made here that elegance is as much about the behaviour as it is about the aesthetics, I won’t go into it. From the early days of lolita fashion we’ve been arguing that they’re just clothes with no bearing on your behaviour. Sure, if you want to act more elegantly, then do that at your own leisure. Equally, a dickhead in frills is still just a dickhead. Despite whatever impression the legacy of things such as The Princess Code may give, it doesn’t dictate how lolitas, individuals and as groups, act and to project the idea that your clothing should dictate your behaviour takes the whole fashion much closer to costume and dress-up play than fashion. Lolita fashion doesn’t inherently come with any predetermined behaviours or savoir vivre guides that you must follow in order to belong. Therefore, it isn’t the behaviours that make one an Elegant Gothic Lolita. In fact, I’d say that feigning elegance for the wrong reasons (to appear as better than others as opposed to being respectful towards others) is the exact opposite of what elegance is at its core.

Secret Honey's Disney dresses may be popular with lolitas, because the fashion attracts plenty of cosplayers, but we all know that they're not lolita.
Photo from Hana Castle Store.

Ultimately, the nature of language is that words change meaning or acquire new ones. It is the users of that language who determine how it’s used – it’s how grammatical forms that have been considered incorrect become acceptable. A language that stagnates is a dead one. The same applies to the idea of an Elegant Gothic Lolita. We understand that the term doesn’t exclude classic or sweet lolitas, having come from Japan, where the substyle divisions differ from those in the English-language communities. Why can’t the same be of the “elegant” part of that label? What’s elegant has changed, from the Rococo period to now and from the mainstream to the alternative. Whilst many EGL wearers still aspire to look elegant, it has been overtaken in the priority ranking by striving to look cute and to feel good and like oneself in those clothes. And in my opinion, since the elegance that we value the most as a society is one that is true to the individual, so long as lolitas find a way to use their frills to express themselves authentically, then regardless of their coord’s substyle – they are Elegant (Gothic) Lolitas.

11 Jul 2025

To Boldly Frill at a Time of Safe Bets

It’s such a current word right now, isn’t it? And so relevant to lolita fashion because of its roots. If it weren’t for a bunch of young Japanese women who defiantly did their own thing instead of conforming to what was expected of them, then we’d probably all be in a very different hobby and community right now.

But is that defiance warranted these days? The most that we get to see it in lolita communities is online lolitas defiantly calling an elitist anyone who tells them not to buy something questionable and makes a suggestion of saving up. And even as many of us recognise and actively choose this look in the face of what is considered fashionable or attractive in the mainstream, very few of us wear frills out of a strong sense of Eff You to the society at large. Are we even defiant anymore? Do we need to be?

I think so, on both accounts. In significantly smaller ways, nonetheless we are. Defiance and spite are incredibly powerful motivators for the right people, many of whom end up being the driving forces for new looks in fashion. These days I see lolitas boldly wear items that were previously considered ugly or undesirable, from ita bags to Marble’s lace monsters. Big events and special occasions, as well as the need for visibility if you want more than mere crumbs of the social media algorithm, push people to try out looks that don’t fit the typical lolita coord ticklist and come out with something fun and fresh. And actually, the need for comfort is as big of a driver for defiance, with people swapping pinching tea parties for flexible sneakers and ditch layers that aren’t practical for the weather whilst retaining style.

We live in times when, whilst it can still be a marker of social status, fashion is also so much more about play than it was historically for most. Whether as means of creative expression or a no-buy necessity, I see more and more people play with their coords, sticking a metaphorical middle finger up to the rules. Of course, individual ideas fail or they don’t match another individual’s tastes – that’s fine, that’s part of the deal. That doesn’t make the attempts any less valid.

To get even more macro about it, as the world gets eerily more conservative in response to the events unfolding on the global stage, it is the few souls who still choose artistic expression and non-conformism that help us hold onto our defiance. You might have a strict dress code for work – but no-one can stop you from wearing Angelic Pretty socks under your work trousers or a Moitie necklace under your shirt. You might not look forward to relatives questioning your life choices over dinner, so you choose to misdirect their attacks towards the choice of clothes you make to earn yourself some peace from the Big Questions. You might even be blocking more creeps on a dating app than you ever wanted to see – but by defiantly sharing your EGL pictures you know that the long game will result in someone who won’t try to stifle your individuality out of their own insecurities or need for control.

Small acts of disruption accumulate. And you are part of that by choosing to engage in a fashion that by all mainstream standards is simply outlandish, whether you realise the impact of that decision or not.

Is lolita fashion defiant? Duh. It always has been. Continue this noble tradition whenever and wherever you can.

This brief opinion post was brought to you by Bibliotheca's theme of Defiance. For all of my Capricorn instincts to be contrarian, if a group of great bloggers says "Let's do something", then you know that I'm there.

8 Aug 2025

1 Dress 4 Looks Take 75

Look 1: Delicate Pink

Look 2: Tea Rose

Look 3: Softly Blue

Look 4: Fresh Spring

1 Aug 2025

July Coords Roundup

*~*~*~*Coord 1: Pop Gig

*~*~*~*Coord 2: Homely Charlotte

*~*~*~*Coord 3: Meta Weekend

*~*~*~*Coord 4: Dark Retro

*~*~*~*Coord 5: Too Hot – And Yet

*~*~*~*Coord 6: Book Date

*~*~*~*Coord 7: Blessed Rains

*~*~*~*Coord 8: Folklore Summer

*~*~*~*Coord 9: Blind Boxes and Bevs + DnD

*~*~*~*Coord 10: Gig Night

*~*~*~*Coord 11: Love Stories etc. Day 1

*~*~*~*Coord 12: Love Stories etc. Day 2

*~*~*~*Coord 13: Recycled Pile

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