The Relaxed Post-Pandemic Meetup

Yes, I know, I’m not blind, the pandemic isn’t over yet. But nothing else quite captures this time that’s in reality an in-between one, but so many governments act like everything is fully back to pre-2020 days. Nonetheless, for a lot of us meetups have become possible again and there is still the need to release so much of this pent up energy to be fancy and Do Lolita Stuff. We’ve been unable to for well over two years, many have literally not worn frills even once, so the sentiment is very relatable. But let me tell you why it’s good to keep the post-pandemic meetup(s) casual and simple.

Photo by Helena Lopes on Pexels.com

1. Practicalities

To get the obvious out of the way first, the less involved a meetup is for the organiser, the easier it is to do it and to enjoy it. Between venues not always being great with large bookings, people not being fully comfortable with large groups, and all the other tedious details that go into organising a big, fancy meetup, keeping things small and simple means far less stress. And everyone loves a stress-free (or at least a minimum-stress) meetup, whether they are an attendee or an organiser. Moreover, since simple things like grabbing some bubble tea or hanging around a park are extremely easy to organise, it means that anyone can do it. Trust me, all the mods who are used to being the only ones responsible for making things happen will be thankful for a break.

Bring back the 'just going out for a cute drink, let's be fancy whilst at it' meets!

2. Reintroduction

Whether the people in attendance have been in the comm for years or are new to the comm, but need a refresher on how to behave in public after two years of social isolation, a more relaxed meetup will help everyone get reacquainted with the social rules and with each other. For someone attending their very first meetup, going for bubble tea or to a pub will put them at ease because those don’t (seemingly) come with a whole savoir vivre like afternoon tea can. And I’ve seen enough old-timers mess up basic things like RSVP-ing or not getting their deposits on time over the post-pandemic meetups I’ve attended to reiterate that lack of practice leads to forgetting. The less reintroductions of the rules that are necessary the better.

Basic politeness such as RSVPs and notifying organisers of non-attendance really took a nosedive as a result of Zoom meetups being normalised. A chill meetup will give everyone a chance to refresh (or learn) those rules without causing so much stress and panic.

3. Simple ≠ Boring

Even in pre-pandemic times there were enough comments about how nice it is to bring things back to the basics sometimes. Ultimately, not every meetup has to be themed, not every meetup has to be large, not every meetup has to be OTT, not every meetup has to involve going for very fancy afternoon tea. Two years of not having that really puts into perspective that what lolitas really want is a safe space to be social with other people in the same style of clothes. A day at a pub in a group of five isn’t any less fun than a tea party for thirty with OTT dresses, a raffle, a dedicated photo corner, and a goodie bag for everyone. In fact, not having to deal with all of those extras is quite freeing and relaxing, it lets people enjoy the real reason we’re there in the first place: to be social with other people in the same style of clothes.

The benefits of merely being in good company are immeasurable, everything else is just extra sprinkles.

4. Accessibility

Being confined to online meetups only highlighted how inaccessible some meetups were once you compared who was suddenly able to attend. There are so many factors that make a meetup accessible: physical adjustments for those with mobility issues, ensuring a sufficient range of dietary requirements being catered to, the level of ambient noise, the literal ease of getting to and/or inside the venue, how many people are attending and how many of them already know one another - to name but a few. Ultimately, with the infrastructures that many of us have to deal with, making a meetup that’s perfectly accessible to all may be impossible. However, keeping them to chill activities limits the number of factors that need to be accounted for and in reducing the stress of Doing Something Major or of Organising Something Big, it potentially becomes more accessible to those who until then only managed the online meetups.

Big, fancy meetups feel special, but for some people a smaller, more casual affair is far more accessible.

To those out there who are thinking of organising a meetup, but are worried that their ideas aren’t big or lolita enough - hopefully this post has put your anxieties at ease. This is heavily based on experience, not just mine, but those who have attended some of the recent meetups, which did include more laid back activities like picnics, pub trips, bubble tea and walk etc. Variety is the spice of life and having fancier meetup opportunities is always nice. However, not every single meetup needs to be all that. And in scaling things back sometimes it feels like we’re getting a bit more connected to our roots and the reason why lolitas started to form communities: to enjoy the fashion together.