How to Dress for an Event that's Not Your Style

 Lolita fashion is wonderfully diverse under that broad umbrella of what makes something lolita or not. This also means that if you venture out to hang out with other lolitas, whether at themed meetups or at large events, you may find yourself wanting to attend something that isn’t actually what you wear. Whilst a respectable organiser will ensure that coords outside of the main theme or the most obvious substyle are still welcome, it can make one self-conscious to arrive knowing how much we stick out.

As you’re reading this, The Queen is Dead – Long Live Lolita event is taking place in Manchester tomorrow. And whilst I am going, the oldschool, punk, and goth styles that it primarily caters to are a far cry from what I wear. Yet I am still going and feel that the journey I went on to nail down my own coords may carry kernels of useful advice to anyone who finds themselves in a similar position. So with this as the background to my takes, I hope that the advice comes in useful for some of you.

Photo by João Jesus on Pexels.com

1. The Intersection of What You Like and What Fits

Even if you do not wear any of the styles that the event theme lends itself the most to, there may still be something, one small aspect, that you like and have that could be a sufficient nod. For example, whilst goth, punk, and oldschool vibes are not quite for me, I do like tartan as a pattern. Thankfully it is one that features very prominently in all three of those and is instantly recognisable as something that fits that theme, so even if my outfit isn’t quite any of those substyles, it won’t look out of place. Your link can be as tenuous as that: a motif, a colour, a particular item, something that you imagine a lot of people might be wearing that you also happen to own and can build upon that.

If you're coming to TQiD, catch me in this tomorrow!

2. A Specific Word that Resonates with You

The longer the event title, the more you have to play with. With a full event name of The Queen is Dead – Long Live Lolita, there is room to go with the sub-title and create a coord that one thinks represents the future of this fashion. But there is also room for classic lolitas to latch onto the word “queen” and find all the royal vibes they wish, from Innocent World-style crowns everywhere to lolita reinterpretations of iconic queens who are now dead (I am looking forward to seeing how many Marie Antoinettes may be there). Although the more outside the box you go with your specific word, the higher the chance of still standing out amongst the majority, at least this way you have a story to go with your outfit. It’s no longer being different because you don’t fit – it’s being original with your interpretation.

Alice in Wonderland is my pet peeve of themes in lolita, but it perfectly illustrates the point of picking a word or something about the event theme to run with.
Picture from Show.me.uk

3. Dominant Colours of the Event

Some event themes have obvious dominant colours. You know that if something is for Halloween or Valentines Day, then you can dress in the blacks/oranges/purples or reds/pinks associated with that holiday, even if the substyle of your coord is completely off. Certain motifs also bring to mind specific shades, such as dusty pinks and greens for anything floral or blues, golds, and silvers for anything celestial. Whether the dominant colours of the event are clear from the theme itself or you’re getting an idea based on what the people you know will be wearing, then whatever is the closest to that amongst what you own, dressing in that should allow you to fit in with others. A dark shade in a sea of black certainly fits in more closely than a singular pastel soul.

The Western Community Porbl - an official Pantone shade of the lolita community.
Picture taken from Atelier Pierrot's Facebook.

4. Community Maketh an Event

Even when we can’t put our finger on it fully, there are some noticeable differences in how different lolita communities coordinate their frills. This can be as large scale as communities from different countries or as insular as specific groups within the local comms. For example, my impression of the US comms are that they are on the whole much younger and lean more towards sweet lolita – whereas the Spanish comms have a strong cohort of long-standing members who all exude very regal classic and gothic vibes. If you know what the people organising the event may be into or have a certain idea of what lolitas from that comm/place/country tend to wear, then that will make it easier to adapt to their vibes. After all, plenty of Angelic Pretty prints can be styled in a very OTT Classic sort of way and a simple black dress can be sweetened up if needed. And then you’re in with the locals, blending in like a pro!

Some comms simply have a look. Even if that look may be a result of the zeitgeist, it will still be relevant to events hosted whilst in said zeitgeist.
Photo from SoraNews24.com

Of course, you always have the option of buying an outfit just for this one event and then hope to sell it on. To me the cons of this outweigh the pros: it is an additional expense, it is a bit wasteful (even if you do resell it with minimal loss), and if it’s not a style that you usually wear then you might not feel your most comfortable, thus ruining the vibes for yourself. This is why my advice stuck to the more straightforward suggestions on how to reinterpret the theme or find the link as this way allows you to wear something that you already own and already know you feel good in. And that is ultimately what matters more at events and meetups. Go there to have fun and enjoy yourself with your friends or to make new ones. The lolita community is wonderful and will embrace you in whatever style of frills you wear.