Meets can be a little daunting,
especially at first. And that’s regardless of whether you’re attending or
organising one. I went to a total of eight meets, of which I organised one (my
second to last one). So while my perspective on this week’s Lolita Blog
Carnival topic is still very much from a newbie perspective, what I’ve observed
thus far boils down to three main things.
1. Place
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| Art Gallery by Carlo Mirande Flickr |
The location of the meet has to suit
its purpose. Sometimes the meet itself is centred on visiting a place, so then
it’s about ensuring that it’s an interesting one. Sometimes it’s just a ‘let’s
catch up’ eat and drink kind of meet, so make sure that your venue isn’t too
noisy, thus stopping you from having a chat. I’m assuming here that whatever
the meet idea, it’s appropriate to wear Lolita there (so you’re not planning,
for example, to go rock climbing or mud fighting), but whatever you’ve planned
the venue has to fit the needs. At the end of the day, even a casual
get-together for dinner won’t make a fun meet with your fellow frillies if you’re
somewhere that’s noisy, dirty and full of people you’d rather avoid for
whatever reason. Plus, people need to know what would be appropriate wear for that occasion!
2. Activities
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| Misako Aoki on set of 'Maepatsuhimeka' Taken from Nekohimechan's blog |
This isn’t to say that you have to
be doing something incredible and different at every meet you attend. Rather it
is to highlight that having a purpose to the meet will improve the chances of
it going well. So make it clear whether this is a casual lunch/shopping kind of
meet or whether it’s a themed one with planned activities. The ‘let’s just meet
there and see what we feel like’ approach only works for groups of very close
friends, which could exclude any newcomers to the comm. Arrange for something to
do that will keep you all occupied – going to the vintage fair, an afternoon
tea, Halloween fun and games, a treasure hunt, crafts, anything – and maybe have a little backup in case something goes
wrong (e.g. bad weather or everyone gets tired/hungry halfway through).
And if you are planning to do a
themed meet with lots of themed activities, then be flexible. At the end of the
day people attend to socialise as well as to take part in what’s planned, for
some this may be the first time in a while that they’ve seen each other and
they will want to catch up without being or meaning to be rude to you as the
host. Use your knowledge of the group and best judgement to decide when the
most appropriate time to do a planned activity is and when you should just
relax and chat/eat/discuss the latest releases/have fun.
3. People
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| Gothic Lolita with suitcase by Hekerui. Wikimedia Commons |
Without other Lolitas there wouldn’t
be a meet in the first place. And again, I’m not trying to say that the best
meets are the ones where only long-time best friends attend, that’s totally
untrue. But a good host will make sure that everyone is made to feel welcome,
introduced to others where appropriate, help a newcomer find their place in the
group. I was lucky in that I’m surrounded by absolutely lovely comms, I also
realise that there are Lolitas out there who don’t feel like they fit in with
theirs, which often boils down to people simply not clicking together for
whatever reason. However, while you can’t control whether people will like each
other, you can control how you yourself act. You can be a caring and welcoming
host or one focused only on their friends. Similarly, you can choose to make
effort to say ‘Hi, my name’s X, this is my first meet’ to at least one person
in the group or you can stay quiet, hoping for the best and a helping hand from
someone else. In both cases the former positive and active approach often means
the different between a meet that you’ll remember as successful (even if all
you did was have dinner or wander round the shopping centre) or one which you’ll
be disappointed with.
There are certainly many more
specific tips which could be employed to ensure that a meet is successful, but
that’s going into all sorts of details. The three things above, however, apply
to any and all meets and together usually end up creating a lovely mixture.
Why? Because when the first two bits are clear (where are you going and what
will you be doing), then the people attending will be up for it, will arrive
all excited to take part and will act in a more welcoming way, creating a
friendly atmosphere for everyone.
What have you found to be a
necessary ingredient to making a Lolita meet successful? Have you attended a
lot of meets or are you yet to attend your first one? Have you ever hosted a
meet? I’d love to hear your stories and I encourage you to read what other
bloggers have written:
LINKS TO BE UPDATED
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