Shall we start with the fetish one because of our fashion’s
unfortunate name? No, I don’t want to deal with the misconceptions that those
outside of the fashion may have, that’s too boring and it’s just eye-roll
content. Instead, for this week’s Lolita Blog Carnival prompt I would like to
focus on the misconceptions that someone just starting out in the fashion might
have. Many of these I’ve seen still spread around or believed in, although
hopefully this is less so with every year. If this posts opens the eyes of even
one person, I’ll feel quite accomplished.
Lolita Fashion is Impossibly Expensive
I’d like to start this one by addressing one key issue here:
lolita fashion is not intended to be, and therefore never will be, cheap by
high street standards. This is not fast fashion, another Primark where you can
pick up a brand new dress for £10. This is a luxury, designer fashion, produced
in much smaller quantities and to a much higher standard than your average
Primark dress. If this is what you’re expecting, then either research the
fashion a bit more (Lovely Lor’s video is a good start)
or consider spending your money on another hobby.
Having said this, it is also not impossibly expensive. This
one really feels like beating a dead horse with a stick, but from second hand
to shopping on Taobao, there is a plethora of ways to get dresses for under the
£100 mark without major sacrifices on quality. And if you want Japanese brands
and want them brand new – that’s also not impossible. It just requires
patience, perseverance and potentially being creative with your income streams,
but eventually you’ll be able to save up for it. Yes, lolita fashion from the
big brands is expensive when brand new. It’s supposed to be. That’s not
impossible or elitist, that’s the same principle that applies to clothing from
Ted Baker or Channel. Who, by the way, can also often be found for a steal if
you’re patient and thrifty enough to search the right second hand sales
outlets. The people who really appreciate those designers will persevere in
saving up or stalking second hand sales to get the item they want instead of
resorting to knock offs. This is the mindset that you need in lolita fashion –
not the mindset of going shopping to your local high street and getting a
buttload of stuff for cheap.
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| Be strict with your savings, and BNWT can be yours too! Photo by Mirukuma. |
Lolita Fashion is Only for the Young
Clothes don’t have an expiry date on the wearer. As long as
the clothing is in condition good enough to wear, still fits you and still
brings you joy, then wear it. I understand where this comes from – Western
society likes to very clearly separate the child from the adult and Sweet
lolita aesthetic falls firmly into the ‘childish’ category by mainstream
Western standards. Does it stop non-lolita cute franchises like Pusheen or
Disney to be popular amongst adults? Does age stop other people above a certain
age from being fashionable? Just like goth or punk, lolita is alternative
fashion – if you’re into it, then it’s not because you agree with all the societal
restrictions imposed on you. Lolita fashion started our as means of rebelling
against societal expectations for Japanese women who were expected to give up
their personal hobbies, marry and have children – not dressing your age is kind
of a big point of the fashion here. And if you’re still in doubt, look at the
people who are considered icons in the fashion: Misako Aoki is 36 years old,
Mana is 50, neither of whom look like they’re about to quit. And yes, they do
look younger than their age would suggest – that doesn’t mean that they don’t
face pressures to ‘dress their age’ or ‘dress appropriately for their social
standing’ (particularly Misako – read the translation of her blog about onlinedating, that gives you a good idea of what I’m
on about). It’s precisely the fact that they continue to wear it which proves
that so can you.
Lolita Fashion is Not Inclusive
This one tends to be applied predominantly to body
size/shape, but I’ve seen it go in other directions (gender, race, sexuality,
religion, disability, whatever). So let’s address the elephant in the room:
lolita fashion is inclusive. Compared to some mainstream fashions, e.g. like H&M,
it’s incredibly inclusive because it’s very transparent about sizes (using
actual measurements instead of arbitrary sizes) and has plenty of options for
either larger sizes or custom made pieces. Some
brands are not very size inclusive, but they are a growing minority (off
the top of my head I’m thinking Victorian Maiden, who are [supposedly] closing
and Alice and the Pirates [particularly their boystyle range]). Some brands,
like AP, have grown more size inclusive with time (I’ve talked a fair bit aboutthis already),
and some have always been pretty good. Yes, not every design will come in an
accommodating size, but that does not discount the number of pieces that do nor
does it make the fashion overall not inclusive.
As for the other things – lolita fashion allows everyone to
feel their cutest. Generally, as a community, we also do well in being
welcoming towards people different from us. You can’t avoid it entirely and
there will be individuals who are just wankstains – just like everywhere else
in the society. But since it’s an alternative fashion and many of us already
feel different from the mainstream, from my experience we do pretty well at
creating a safe and welcoming environment and at keeping wankstains and
predators at bay. As long as you wear lolita fashion and join us for a meetup,
then we’ll do our best to accommodate any needs you may have and will lift you
up with compliments on your outfit.
Don't take it from me - take it from actual plus-size lolitas!
People Will React Negatively when You Wear Lolita Fashion
Again, generalisations like this don’t tend to work very
well because there are some awful and some wonderful people out there and we
all live in different places with different mentalities. However, from my
experience, as well as from reading about other people’s, the majority of
reactions encountered tend to be either neutral or positive. Yes, you will
attract attention and people will stare – but so would you if you didn’t know
about the fashion and saw a lolita out and about. Not all stares are an
expression of negativity, there may be some curious or enamoured ones too.
Depending on where you’re hanging out, you may be surprised by how often people
are nice about your clothes. Older ladies and little children are the typical
crowd who loves the fashion, and you never know if you find some other people
loving your style – or even lolitas ‘off duty’. And if you are very worried,
get some company or stick some headphones on and do your best to ignore the
crowd. Eventually, with exposure, you will stop feeling so on display and will
grow enough of a thick skin to tackle any unpleasantries you’re likely to face
on a day to day basis when out in lolita. But trust me, it won’t be as much
negativity as your anxiety tells you it will be.
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| Also, if you project confidence, you will receive more positive reactions! |
Lolita Fashion is Something You Can Just Throw On
I think here is where many newcomers to the fashion fall
flat and face their first battle with con crit. There is a skill to wearing
this fashion well, one we call coordinating, and while some people naturally
have an eye for it, others need to put some conscious work and effort into it.
It’s not just about finding a matching/complementary colour, although that is a
big part – the devil is in the detail and cuts, trims, style and quality also
can take a coordinate from ok to poor or great. Let’s take an OP as an example.
Technically, you just put it on with a petticoat and that’s your outfit. If you
do just that, then yes, it’s an outfit,
but it lacks other key lolita aspects, so it won’t really be a coordinate. And even with those
accessories, if your shoes, socks and headpiece are lacking in quality or mismatched
(in colour, theme or style), then while you will have a coordinate, it might not necessarily be a good coordinate. With more research and more practice comes better
eye for those things, so the key is to listen to the feedback given by those
more experienced and act on it. But unless you buy an entire set from a
reputable brand and wear it as a set, you may need to get to grips with coordinating
before your outfits go from mediocre to great.
Coordinating is a skill and we all sometimes miss the mark,
so it's important to keep working on this skill.
so it's important to keep working on this skill.
Those are five misconceptions that I could think of. I’d
like to think that as a community we’ve moved past most of those and many
newbies know better now. Can you think of any other misconceptions about the
fashion that are quite common or pervasive? If you’re hungry for more, then
check out what the other participating bloggers have written:
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