End of 2023 Lolidrobe Reassessment Post

I’m back from Japan now, 2024 is well and truly underway (gosh, here’s a scary thought), so it’s time to catch up on the usual end-of-last-year/beginning-of-the-new-one things. Thank goodness that I took a few extra days off work, this means that I have the energy to think about things.

Overview of Purchases

I always knew that my trip to Japan would bring with it a substantial haul. That’s what I had been saving for and that’s what I wanted. Things aren’t always very clear cut on what to include in here, given that my lolita wardrobe mixes in pretty freely with my non-lolita one, so I tried to go by either what brand it came from or what I envision using it with the most. Ideally both, but sometimes you gotta be picky like that.

• 8 main pieces (1 sweet JSK in red, 1 sweet OP in red, 1 classic OP in wine, 1 classic OP in green)
• 5 tops (1 gothic blouse in wine)
• 4 pieces of outerwear (1 sweet cardigan in pink, 1 classic corset in wine)
• 2 pieces of underwear
• 1 piece of overwear (1 classic overskirt in ivory)
• 8 pairs of legwear (1 pair of sweet socks in orange, 1 pair of classic tights in ivory, 1 pair of classic tights in wine, 1 pair of sweet OTKs in white x sax, 1 pair of sweet ankle socks in sax)
• 6 pairs of shoes (1 sweet pair in light blue, 1 sweet pair in red, 1 classic pair in gold*)
• 3 bags (1 sweet bag in white)
• 1 novelty item (mug)
• and 48 sets of accessories (last quarter purchases: 3 sweet hair clips in red, ivory, and blue, 1 pair of sweet hair combs in sax, 1 pair of sweet wrist cuffs in black, 1 classic necklace in wine x gold, 1 sweet/classic ring in sax, 1 sweet/classic headband in gold, 1 classic belt in ivory x gold)

A total of 89 lolita purchases over the year is pretty good going. Although I have sold some things, it certainly wasn’t enough to offset this in any way. Nonetheless, as I say probably every year, I am quite happy with the direction those purchases are setting. Despite still having days when I doubt my style, I feel like I have been consistent with what I get and that it matches how I wear things. And a fair few of these purchases fill in gaps that I already had, which always makes one feel better about confronting one’s own spending.

Sure, there were purchases outside of Japan too, but this is the bulk of last quarter's addition.

The Year of Returning to Japan

Where else would you have a cute
giant bear bread sign?

Let’s get the obvious out of the way, shall we? After last going in 2019 I finally made it back to Japan. And as this time I went alone, I committed to wearing frills more whilst there. For a 17 day trip I wore lolita on 14 of those. Two weeks of nearly uninterrupted frilling without feeling tired of being in lolita at any point, that is really good going. It highlights that for the fatigue of wearing frills is less to do with the clothes themselves and more with the activities that I engage with whilst I’m dressed up (as well as the level of OTT-ness or styling). Since we’ve already talked about purchases, I’ll glance over that part and focus instead on the amazing experiences that I had this time. The chief one being, of course, meeting Kato-san when I went to shop at Physical Drop – she is the actual sweetest and I sincerely hope that I will get to meet her again. Overall, that whole trip has been very healing: my Japan nostalgia stopped raging so hard (duh, would be worrying if it didn’t) and were it not for living out of hotel rooms, I slipped back into feeling like a local so effortlessly that upon returning home I had some real weird moments of feeling out of place and almost a reverse culture shock (why was everything so quiet?). Here’s to planning and saving up for another trip in hopefully less than 4 years (provisional aim is 2025).

The Year of Mixed Pictures

My 2022 goal was to be less hard on myself with having to photograph every outfit and leaning into mirror selfies. In 2023 I flipped the script and sought out taking more photos outside, to prove that I do leave the house, as well as to get more comfortable with the idea of taking photos of myself on location. All whilst still taking more mirror selfies. I think as the year went on, I found that happy balance and became more confident in both. This has taken off a great deal of pressure to have the perfect outfit picture every time, as well as encouraged me to get over my irrational fear of being seen in public (which is what the photos outside thing boiled down to). I’m not always 100% satisfied with each picture, but still aim to avoid things like hiding my face with stickers or editing beyond fixing poor light. Here’s to more of that mix of photos in 2024!

The three levels of my outfit shots now.

The Year of Aesthetifying My Space

A row of happiness.

Although not exclusively a lolita thing, many of the things that I ended up doing around my flat to make the space prettier involve lolita fashion in one way or another. I have a whole column of framed photographs from cherished memories, all of which showing lolita fashion. I purchased prints and pictures, both explicitly lolita and simply fitting with the aesthetic, that have added my walls. My fridge is covered in stickers on magnet paper, almost all of which are stickers from lolita artists. Novelty items from brands, such as mugs or storage containers, have found their way into my kitchen and I would love to get more. It’s little changes that end up having a big impact on my emotional wellbeing. Because even if I’m feeling down, all I need is to make a cup of tea to comfort myself and then life is a little bit better for a moment thanks to the Angelic Pretty mug or the photo from an event that I am looking at. I wholeheartedly recommend beautifying your space and making it a reflection of what matters to you!

The Year of Being Tired

I feel like in practically every coords roundup post in 2023 I had at least one outfit that I wasn’t fully happy with because I rushed it or was lazy with the styling. Generally I noticed that my energy levels are lower than what I remember them being, mostly due to various work-related things (not even necessarily the work itself, but simply being at the office more has a major impact, let alone anything on top of that). Looking back on those times and on every occasion when I found myself in the grips of the impostor syndrome as a lolita and comparing my looks to those of others, the one consistent theme was that this was always those rushed coords and that I usually compared them to more “traditionally” lolita coords, i.e. the full tick-box experience with everything from a maker that explicitly focuses on lolita. This has given me a lot of food for thought, way more than I will share right now (maybe at some other point in the future – if I can find the energy) and I think that going forward this is something that I will have to be a lot more considerate of. Both because my energy levels are not magically going to go up and because this is the kindest thing that I can do for myself with regards to my mental health. I’ll mull that over some more and see what would be best.

I've been feeling like this stock photo lady a lot. Though not always this aesthetic.
Photo by Kha Ruxury: https://www.pexels.com/photo/sleeping-woman-in-front-of-turned-on-table-lamp-beside-books-1294284/Photo by Kha Ruxury on Pexels.com.
Photo by Kha Ruxury: https://www.pexels.com/photo/sleeping-woman-in-front-of-turned-on-table-lamp-beside-books-1294284/

Review of 2023 Goals

Four goals of mixed effort levels for 2023 have yielded some mixed results. Looking at them now, I think that the ones I succeeded in were a little bit less effort or more of a concentrated very short burst of effort as opposed to a sustained one.

1. Did I take at least one coord photo outside this quarter: yes! Read more about this above, there’s no point in repeating myself here.
2. Did I obtain any pieces of lolita art or home decor: yes. Also more about this above.
3. Did I make at least one item from Otome no Sewing: Overall this one is a no. I made a start and then abandoned the project at the first hurdle of feeling overwhelmed. This is something to tackle next.
4. Have I transferred my entire wardrobe to Whering: A mixed bag. I have transferred all of my lolita clothing to Whering and made a conscious decision not to add jewellery because of how it impacted the app’s functioning. My non-lolita wardrobe is probably mostly there, but not completely, and I know that I am procrastinating, but I’m also not feeling the urge to do any bulk uploads. And you know what, I am satisfied with letting this be a work in progress, after all, so is building a wardrobe overall.

How should I sum up 2023? Initially my mind gravitated towards the word “unremarkable” because for the most part life was simply happening. I didn’t have any major revelations, I kept things back a bit with my creative output, I was just enjoying every meetup I got to go to and connecting with people both online and off. But actually, in between that day-to-day bits there were so many little moments of joy and community spirit. And that is what ultimately tips the scales towards life being good. It doesn’t need to be extraordinary or remarkable. By wearing lolita as often as I do I am already romanticising my life a lot more than the average person. I think by being so “unremarkable” 2023 has shown that I have finally entered that “true lolita lifestyler” era where I just allow life to happen and extract joy from the smallest things. And that in itself is a very remarkable thing.

How was your 2023? If it was unremarkable, I hope that you’re also able to see that as a positive thing and not beat yourself up over things. May 2024 bring us all peace and plenty of opportunities to connect with this cute silly fashion that make our hearts do a lil’ joyful skip. That’s the best that could happen to all of us!