End of 2018 Lolidrobe Reassessment Post

Bloody hell, time absolutely flew by! The last quarter of the year always feels like it’s going ahead at double the speed since for whatever reason I’m always busier than at any other time of the year. Anyone else have that too? Anyhow, let’s get straight into reviewing how 2018 has gone.

Overview of Purchases

This is everything I bought in 2018, with things in brackets being the additions not listed in the last reassessment post:

• 12 main pieces (1 Sweet-Classic JSK in green, 1 Sweet skirt in red, 1 Sweet-Classic JSK in ivory*)
• 5 tops
• 3 cardigans/boleros
• 3 jackets/overdresses
• 23 pairs of socks/tights (1 pair of Classic OTKs in offwhite x sax, 1 pair of Sweet-Classic OTKs in ivory x gold, 1 pair of Classic OTKs in ivory x gold, 1 pair of Classic mesh tights in black, 1 pair of Classic tights in pink, 1 pair of Classic tights in red x white and 1 pair of Classic tights in navy x white)
• 1 pair of shoes
• 1 bag
• 1 wig
• 1 pair of bloomers (fleece in white)
• and 35 sets of accessories (1 Classic pin in light brown, 1 Classic brooch in white x red, 1 Classic brooch in sax, 1 Gothic necklace in white, 1 Sweet-Classic matryoshka necklace, 1 Classic hair clip in ivory x red, 2 pairs of Gothic earrings in black, 1 Classic necklace in black, 1 Classic necklace in bronze x pink, 1 Classic brooch in green and 1 Classic headdress in brown)

As I was going through the quarterly reassessments posts, I gradually felt like I was losing sight of my original goal, which was to purchase fewer things. Turns out that my spending limitations combined with a wardrobe that doesn’t need much in terms of practical additions actually has worked the charm and I have bought fewer items in 2018 than 2017. I’m also proud that many more of these have been direct purchases from brands, as well as purchases from indie brands. Not only does that let me support the makers I admire, but spending more on fewer pieces actually curbs down my purchases, so this is definitely something I want to continue doing. Overall, the 2018 haul numbers 84 pieces, which is just under 2/3 of the total number of purchases last year. That’s visible, measurable progress there!

The Year of Working Hard

This feels like the biggest feature of 2018. I have dedicated a lot more time to curating the content I put out online. The blog has had a major style update, the YouTube channel saw a lot more videos uploaded (many of which were not unboxings!), writing for Wunderwelt Libre carried on and I started taking more care of my Instagram (though trying to not hold myself to any strict standards for the sake of my mental health). There were some valuable lessons along the way. Some were about self-discovery (e.g. the kind of standards I hold myself to or what I am capable of), while some were more practical and down-to-earth (like figuring out a new editing software or learning to take outfit shots myself). I’m not going to pretend like this wasn’t a lot of work and effort – it was. The key difference though is that I enjoy doing this, so I will carry on doing things like this even if I’m tired or unmotivated because at the end of the day they make me happy. Though probably not quite to the extent I did this year, that was quite a push!

These two playlists full of things that are not unboxings have really helped diversify
my video output. Hopefully some of that will stick for longer.

The Year of Getting Even More Involved

On the one hand, I became a mod for my local comm in September. I never anticipated this happening and given that my plan is to move to a different area of the country, I had to have a very serious think on whether I even should put myself forward. However, I don’t regret anything and hope that I’ll be able to do a good job while I am a moderator. It certainly motivates me to organise more meets, especially bigger ones.

On the other hand, I attended not one, not two, but three big lolita events, two of which were outside of England. At both of those I did my best to help out rather than just be a participant. There were so many other events I really wanted to attend, Game of Frills in Erfurt and Winter Memories in Rome being just two of those, but neither my annual leave nor funds could spread quite that far. This will definitely be something I will continue doing – both attending big events abroad and helping out at them. Street Fashion Europe was on the cards, however, I didn’t like the vibe I was getting from it even before the ticket sale started, so instead I will be looking out for other events I could do. Maybe 2019 will be the year I’ll make it to that winter tea party in Rome? Third time’s the charm, as they say…

To be able to attend three large lolita exclusive events in one year was a blast and a privilege. Each was incredible and
created with love, and at each I had forged new friendships which I hope will last for a long time to come.

The Year of Dressing Up More

Part of the reason why I started getting dressed up a lot more is because I have more pieces that I’m able to throw on in a simple coord. But it’s also because my mindset has changed a lot, from “these are my fancy clothes for fancy occasions” to “I paid a lot of money for these, so I’ll wear them as often as I please”. Yes, the original goal for 2018 of engaging more with my lolita lifestyle has certainly helped and been a trigger in making this happen, but I feel that I would’ve gotten there even if I hadn’t explicitly said anything. So many people I follow on social media do wear more toned down or casual lolita coords at weekends just because, so I probably would’ve been inspired to do that anyway.

This new attitude of dressing up for more casual occasions has brought with it more ease for wearing lolita. It's less tiring
than it was in the past and I'm less concerned with the need to have a 100% polished coord 100% of the time.
It's just clothes.
First time wearing Bears Paradise in April 2016 vs last time in December 2018.

The Year of Trying New Things

For such a long time I was convinced that I wouldn’t get into Gothic lolita or Ouji. Well, both have happened now and while at this point I don’t plan on expanding my wardrobe with pieces specifically for either of those styles, I don’t plan on getting rid of what I have either. It will be nice to have the option to wear these styles and I would like to explore these a little bit more, it’s just not necessarily a priority. Even within my current style I dared to try out some brands that were new to me and it worked a treat every time. I am now a big fan of Millefleurs and Heart E (they’re both just so comfortable!), I tried out a couple of indie brands and I have my eyes set on one or two more.

And my trying out new things wasn’t just limited to new styles. As I already mentioned, I tried lolita events abroad and loved it, and I tried different kinds of videos on my YouTube channel and enjoyed that. Since in 2019 I am finally going to Japan with my boyfriend (and this time it is all booked, no backsies now!), then I will extend this to trying out some cuts I may not have considered in the past. So I will definitely continue to keep my mind open and try out new things, even if they don’t always work out.

If this time last year you'd have told me that I would get both a Gothic piece
and an Ouji piece, I wouldn't have believed you one bit. Yet here I am.
Also, let's appreciate how this collage looks like my Ouji self is snapping
a pic of my Gothic self.

Review of 2017 Goals

This was certainly an interesting year for goals. Two of them have contributed to the big things I already mentioned, while the rest of them just kept me a little bit more in check. Well, hopefully.

1. Did I have the agreed amount of money in my account at all times: Yes. There was never any problem with that and now that I don’t have any special dream dresses to hunt down, I’ve reduced that allowance. Although since it’s never been something I’ve had to consciously think about, this goal won’t feature on next year’s list.
2. Did I wait a minimum of 48 hours before purchasing something outside of my wishlist: Yes, for the most part. There were a few slip-ups, however, not only were they relatively minor, they also turned out to be items I ended up wearing quite a lot. I’ve found it useful to have this 48-hour rule, so this will definitely continue as a habit.
3. Did I learn how to crop cardigans: No. This was the big flop of this year. I think being so busy with everything else was one big contributor to this, as I simply lacked the time and/or energy to try. The other one was a fear of failure – I could just go for it, but as I’m not proficient with a sewing machine at all, it probably wouldn’t look as neat as I’d like it to and the lack of time/energy meant that I only did one practice session with the machine. It’s still a skill that I would like to acquire, so you’ll definitely see this one again. And hopefully I won’t fail at it again.
4. Did I wear every new main piece at least once: Pretty much yes, with the exception of Haenuli’s Lovely Memories, which arrived right at the end of the year when I haven’t had much reason to dress up (and when I prioritised shirring). Thanks to this goal I actually created a spreadsheet that helps me track the rotation of my wardrobe and when was the last time I’ve worn a particular piece. Some dresses did wait a bit before being worn, as I saved them for a special occasion, but overall knowing that I need to wear something within a certain amount of time helped remind me that these are just clothes and not every coord has to be fancy AF.
5. Did I organise the Winter ILD: Yes. You can read more about it here. It was an amazing experience and while it was stressful at times, I know that it’s because of all the extras I set out to do. In the future, I’ll probably stick to simpler ideas – and yes, that does mean that I’m up for organising larger tea parties like ILDs in the future.
6. Did I attend at least one lolita meet or event outside of the UK: Yes. See above for details.
7. Did I connect with my lolita lifestyle: Overall yes, although this entire experience got me thinking a lot more in-depth about what that means for me. It was a great learning curve and for the time being I don’t see myself elaborating on that. I’m happy with what I’ve discovered about myself and about what lolita lifestyle might entail – some of this will continue in the form of activities that I do (or how I do them) and some won’t. It’s as simple as that.
8. Did I improve and boost my online presence and content: Yes. See above for details.

The wish I made at the end of 2017, that 2018 be as good as or better than 2017, has come true. As far as lolita fashion is concerned, this year has been amazing: I’ve done a lot and feel even more connected to the fashion than ever before. I can only wish for this to continue – especially as 2018 was also the year when I saw a few people I met through this amazing community decide that lolita fashion wasn’t for them anymore. It’s ok to find joy in something else (and to admit that lolita doesn’t bring you that joy anymore), and over the course of 2018 I have also rediscovered my love and passion for some of the other hobbies I have that have taken a back step recently (like burlesque or writing fiction). However, I am not going to move on from lolita, not just yet – I’d like a few more years of what 2018 has been like, please!

How do you feel at the end of this year? Tired? Accomplished? Motivated? Ready for a fresh start? A bit of everything? However you feel, I wish you all the best in the upcoming year. May your 2019 be happy and peaceful, full of love and joy.

Trio of Unboxings

As it's December 25th today and I've done several unboxings over Vlogmas, I thought that I would compile these into one neat post. Let's not clog the feed here unnecessarily by making this into three separate posts. Once you enter that blissful food coma stage after your Christmas dinner (or after eating the leftovers if you celebrate on December 24th), you could watch these as you digest.

Merry Christmas to all of you!

Quantifying Fashion - My Lolita Spreadsheets

During a quiet time at work, when I still had to come in, but had nothing to do, I started a variety of spreadsheets relating to lolita fashion. Why? Mostly because if you have MS Excel open, people assume you’re busy working. But also because spreadsheets can be a great tool to organise yourself. Once I started mentioning some of these to people, I was surprised by the positive response, so I thought I’d share what is it exactly that I have and do with them.

Tracking Wear

The most important spreadsheet in my collection is the one where I keep track of the last time I wore a particular item. It’s super simple to set up, since you only need two columns and a filter sorted from oldest to newest. I went the extra step and added a column for planning when I’ll wear something. It’s a very quick way of seeing which pieces haven’t been worn and motivating yourself to cycle through your wardrobe a little bit more thoroughly and consistently. When I see that something hasn’t been worn for a year or even longer, I try my best to wear it at the next meetup. It doesn‘t always work out, but once it’s flagged up, I do make more effort. It also helps you identify pieces that you don’t wear that often and allows the space to think what you’re going to do about it. At one point I might expand this one into a tracker of how many times I’ve worn certain pieces, but that is an exercise for when I’m very bored. The primary purpose of this spreadsheet is to remind me that I haven’t worn something in a while and maybe it’s time to whip it out.

I don't know how I'll make a winter coord with Diner Doll, but dammit, I will try!

 

Tracking Prices

This one doubles up as a tracker for all the pieces I’ve ever owned, including those I have since sold. It comprises of two tabs: one where I have all of the information and one where I track only how much I have spent in British Pounds. This second one was more a curiosity project, since I don’t always purchase in the same currency and you naturally start to wonder how much money you invested in this fashion given that we know it’s a luxury one. The former is actually very useful should I ever need to sell something. I keep it fairly detailed by tracking: the year I purchased an item; the year it was originally released; how much I bought it for; retail price; its value on the second hand market (where possible); and price I sold it for (where applicable). With the more recent purchases that I can track I input the currency I purchased it in and then add a note to say how much was that in GBP on that day, to feed into the second tab. Of course, sometimes it’s hard to track these things accurately, e.g. when a dress is not listed on Lolibrary or when it was a lucky pack release. However, as this is primarily for my information, it matters only that I know what the different things mean. And while I don’t sell a lot, it’s nice to already have this information ready if I decide to – takes away one big thing from listing things accurately.

Obviously, I went for as much info as possible - I just like keeping track of everything.

 

Organising Output

I stumbled upon this template by chance when I opened MS Excel 2016 at work one day. There is a template there called Any year calendar (1 month per tab) – which is essentially a planner. It’s very handy in that all the formulas to work out days of the week within a month in a year are pre-calculated, so all you need to do is fill it in. Since I began writing for Wunderwelt Libre, I started using that to organise all my blogging and later on added YouTube to this. Being able to see a month’s writing at once allows me to stay on top of it and write up some bits in advance and schedule them (like the Lolita Blog Carnival posts, for example). I also put in any important events there, so I can tentatively plan when I will write about them for Wunderwelt Libre and here without disrupting my schedule. Lastly, there are always times that are busier than others (e.g. Christmas) and times when I might be away on holiday, so being able to plan these in advance by seeing how many posts would normally fall in that time allows me at least the chance to schedule something.

This is probably the best template in MS Excel 2016. Shame it won't automatically go over into the new year.

Event Spreadsheets

If you’re organising an event that’s a bit more complex than a meetup, then it only makes sense to keep all the information in one place. For the 2018 Winter ILD I had a whole spreadsheet dedicated to it where I tracked everything: attendee list, expenditure, running order on the day and any announcements on the event page. Knowing how much money I have to spend on raffle prizes and how much will have to cover the costs is crucial in ensuring that I don’t overspend. And seeing as I successfully managed not to overspend on anything, we can safely say that the spreadsheet has done its job.

Simple formulas like this help you work out how much money you have to play with.

Level Up

Last but not least, the Lolita Level Up Quiz 3.0 I revamped at the beginning of last year is a downloadable spreadsheet that will auto-calculate your result. It was interesting, googling and testing the formula that would apply the correct category to the score ranges, though I wish I remembered any of it. Since the 3.0 version is so much longer than the 2.0 I felt I owe people at least the opportunity to not have to count all the answers themselves. If you haven’t done it yet, you can download the spreadsheet here or check this tab for a blog version (you’d have to count manually though). I still go back to my own copy and update it as I go along, tracking my slow but steady rise amongst the arbitrary lolita ranks.

My copy of this spreadsheet with my current rank. Literally one extra point and I'll level up!

Of course, along the way I have also created other spreadsheets, but many of these were either short lived or something that could’ve been done in another program. Early on, when trying to expand my builder pieces collection, I had one where I tracked all the complimentary colours for each print, so that I knew which colour was worth getting a blouse, socks and headpiece set in. And I had some for Tea Party Club events where I listed things I needed to pack, separated by day 1 coord, day 2 coord and regular clothes – which could’ve easily been done in MS Word or on paper. Like I said, spreadsheets just makes you look busy with something important and complex when you work in an office setting, so quite often they tend to be my go to canvas for random stuff.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. 

* Thumb image is "I Love Spreadsheets" by Craig Chew-Moulding, taken from Flickr.

 

THAT SFE Rant

While the majority of the drama has (hopefully) calmed down now and this is no longer fresh, I decided to vent out some of my feelings about 2019’s Street Fashion Europe: Traumerei. Not to start the drama anew, but to reflect on some of the things that I have found not to my liking and why. There may be some constructive points being made here or it may even be structured in a somewhat organised way, yet understand that this is still intended to vent out personal emotions. All opinions expressed here are mine and this will be a long read. You have been warned.

Context

For anyone out there not familiar with what’s been happening. Street Fashion Europe started around 2014 with Enchanted in London being the first event. It’s a way of bringing the wider European lolita and J-fashion communities together through an event catered specifically for them (as opposed to fashion segments at anime conventions). Over the years and across the four events done so far SFE has brought to Europe J-fashion designers, models and artists, which the community might otherwise not have met. It’s a wonderful idea and over the years the event has grown, as you might expect. It took a hiatus in 2018 and has announced a comeback for 2019 with an event in Germany themed Traumerei.

Traumerei itself

For a while there have been suspicions that the next event would take place in Germany, so this came as no surprise. However, the more was unveiled, the more I raised my eyebrows.

Firstly, the location of Rüdesheim am Rhein may be charming and full of appropriately aesthetically pleasing locations, but it is a small town. As such what tourism infrastructure it has (namely accommodation and transport links) is more limited compared to big cities, which is where previous SFE events had been held (all capital cities except for Barcelona). This immediately meant that booking accommodation and flights would have to be done immediately after securing an event ticket to avoid commuting long distances on the day of the event – and even then commuting might be unavoidable.

Second, and much bigger one, was the tickets themselves. From the need to register for the event (justified by regulations in Germany), to the need for participants to be 18 or over, all the way to the tiers and prices themselves. All of this was being very exclusionary from the beginning. The need to pre-register was just odd and someone suggested that maybe this way the organisers are trying to avoid public liability insurance by trying to pass off SFE as a private event rather than public. We couldn’t think of what other regulation might require people to pre-register interest, but if this was the reason, then God forbid anything does happen at the event – that could potentially be as big a problem for organisers as it could for attendees. Moreover, a friend of mine was questioned as to which comm were they part of – later I learnt that the organisers were trying to ensure that no sexual predators gained access to the event. Having said this, that friend is an established, well-known figure in the wider lolita community, you’d expect someone like this to not need any additional checks to establish whether they’re legitimate or a kinkster trying to get in. Still, that entire additional screening gave off vibes that lone lolitas or those with no local comm would not be welcome due to lack of verification. The need for being 18 or over at the time of the event immediately excludes a big portion of the community, since the wider lolita community is quite young! We shouldn’t presume someone’s maturity level or financial capabilities based on age and as a community we are committed to creating a safe space, so there shouldn’t be a need for additional safeguarding of minors. Especially given the need for pre-registration and all the extra checks to ensure legitimacy of interest of all attendees. And if you really needed an age restriction, then at least lower it to 16 to allow more people to participate.

As for the ticket tiers themselves… In short, they were very expensive. Yes, the organisers have put on a lot of extras. And I do mean A LOT. Traumerei could be divided into a whopping five (or five and a half even, if I’m understanding this correctly) parts: Saturday daytime, Saturday evening, Sunday tea party, Sunday daytime and Sunday afterparty. The half is also a Saturday evening, but it’s featured only on the cheapest ticket option and is described differently to all the other Saturday evening options, so while I presume that they will take place at the same time and location, it seems that cheaper ticket holders will only have access to a restricted number of activities. There are four ticket tiers (they have long names, so I’m referring to them by past equivalents for ease): Gold at €155, Silver at €145, Bronze at €85 and sub-Bronze at €30. Given that there are all these extras, I can see why the tickets cost as much as they do – that is not quite what I have a problem with (even if Gold ticket for Saturday and Sunday at Dream Masquerade Carnival cost me something like £80 altogether, so have this for price comparison). My main issue lies with what’s included in what, the biggest irk being that the Bronze doesn’t include tea party (and no option to purchase it separately), and with the numbers available. I understand that the tea party was most likely due to venue capacity and the health and safety regulations involved with that. This is very much a personal upset, since I would’ve preferred the cheaper tickets and to add the tea party separately if possible. And again, I see why the organisers wanted a thank you pre-sale, but from my point of view the move to not have more tickets available for general release was like shooting yourself in the foot. The last TPC event also had a thank you pre-sale open to past volunteers and donators, but that was: a) a good month prior to the general release; b) restricted to the bottom two ticket tiers only, so that no-one would have an unfair advantage in getting the Gold tickets; and c) there was a set number of tickets put aside for the pre-sale, while another set number was set for the general release, again ensuring fair chances to everyone. By not doing something similar and allowing even the possibility of all tickets selling out before the general release, SFE organisers have sent a message that if you haven’t been part of SFE in the past (and there are many reasons why you might not have been), then we don’t really want you there. Now, that is not and never will be justification for harassment and doxxing of organisers! Whoever has been doing that has not only harmed themselves (news of who’s done that will spread and those people may find it hard to attend other events in Europe), but the larger community by depriving them of adding those extra tickets to the event. Having said this, the organisers would have done better by having a set number of tickets available at the pre-sale and a set one for general admission, rather than opening all the tickets up for pre-sale and allowing general admission to suffer. Which is exactly what has happened, as the few tickets that were left over sold out immediately upon the sale starting and thanks to the dickheads involved in harassment/doxxing the organisers decided not to add more tickets as originally intended. It was a lose-lose situation as far as I was concerned.

Personal opinions

I have already mentioned some things, so let me expand and add the bits that I haven’t mentioned yet.

As someone who has not attended any SFE events before, I was really looking forward to the chance of going to Traumerei. I wasn’t that involved in lolita fashion in 2014 and 2015 to even know about Enchanted or La Vie En Rose, so there’s nothing I could’ve done about that. By the time I found out about Under the Sea, it was too late for me to get a ticket from the resale thread and secure cheap travel and accommodation. And with Omnia Vanitas, it was a combination of Brexit affecting GBP-EUR exchange, the date (it was in March or April, which I was still saving for a potential Japan trip) and lack of interest from my other friends (I didn’t want to go alone, plus it’d be cheaper in group), as many prioritised Dream Masquerade Carnival. But I had heard great things about SFE events and the various reports I’d read and seen looked fun, so I was excited to plan for attending it. To feel marginalised from the very beginning by the prospect of not having any tickets left over after the pre-sale was disheartening to say the least. It turned my excitement into disappointment before any tickets were even offered for sale, as I knew that my chances would be very slim, next to none. So it’s not difficult for me to imagine that others might feel the same way, from people like me to those who have been excluded by some additional measure beyond their control (e.g. age or not ‘passing’ the additional ‘which comm are you from’ check). And by the time of the ticket tiers announcement I had already been a bit less enthusiastic as I braced myself for an expensive event due to Traumerei’s location and the cost of travel and accommodation involved.

However, between the registration and pre-sale all the announcements have progressively dampened my excitement. I might not have been able to attend any other SFE events, but I was lucky enough to go to two Tea Party Club ones, as well as Myths of Our Own and then The Grand Embassy (which was happening as Traumerei was unveiling its details – stealing thunder much?). As well as this, between 2016 and now my awareness of lolita fashion events in Europe has grown immensely, and to an extent I’ve even been able to observe the development of lolita events in North America and Japan. So when each Traumerei guest announcement unveiled someone I had either already been familiar with or who is not someone I would spend this kind of money to meet, my excitement was progressively dampened. For me meeting prominent figures from the J-fashion community is a big part of the event – and a big reason why I would spend certain price on a ticket, travel and accommodation. Yet for all my love for Triple Fortune, for all my appreciation for Imai Kira and Atelier Pierrot, and for all my sympathy for Ayumi-san from Rose Marie Seoir, these are not the kinds of guests I would spend €85-155 plus accommodation and travel to meet. Triple Fortune have been very active recently, in 2019 alone they will attend a total of three confirmed events in Europe (Paris in February, Milan in March, then Traumerei in June), so if I wanted to meet them, I would have more than ample opportunity to do so at a much more affordable price. As a casual admirer of both Imai Kira’s and Yuko Ashizawa’s work, their presence is not enough to entice me (even though I will still more than happily support them by buying their products). And as much as I like Ayumi-san, we had only ever met through my volunteering at TPC – I own two bits from her brand, but overall it’s not really my style (or size for clothing) and, again, my sympathy is not strong enough to justify the ticket price. The announcement of Nunu from Haenuli as another guest came good two weeks after that poor general release ticket sale, so while the chance to see her again may have swayed me, by that point it was too late to do anything about that. All of these people are established friends of Street Fashion Europe, they have attended SFE events (or other ones in Nunu’s case) in the past and they are not exactly new to SFE. Of course, there will be attendees who are big fans of their work or who have not had a chance to meet them yet, who will be bursting with excitement at the opportunity. But that is not me. Based on the names of the event and the ticket tiers, I had been suspecting that Baby the Stars Shine Bright designers might be announced as a guest, but they have not (as of yet?). So even though BtSSB is nowhere near my favourite brand, I would personally feel it more justifiable to spend €85 to meet them and would at least consider trying to enter the ticket bloodbath had they been announced in time. And that’s just my opinion as someone who is into lolita – I can only imagine how marginalised enthusiasts of other J-fashion styles might feel given that so far only one of those guests is not explicitly linked to lolita fashion. For an event called Street Fashion Europe, representation of other styles certainly is poor so far. And given that Oni-con this year managed to invite both Akira, Sex Pot Revenge and Bio Politics (sister brand of Royal Princess Alice), and Under the Sea included a whole segment on kimono (as well as had Akira in attendance), it’s not like it’s impossible to find non-lolita guests and get them to come over.

What was included in the various ticket tiers was also a big factor in putting me off the event. On the one hand, I dislike how only the two most expensive tickets included a tea party. I understand why that might be, but I still dislike it. It helped me understand how people who were unable to get a tea party ticket for Dream Masquerade Carnival might have felt and I wouldn’t be surprised if someone organised an alternative tea party on that day. For me the shopping and socialising (which is best done at a tea party) are the most important aspects when attending an event, so not being able to have that without the priciest tickets is off-putting. Secondly, as I read through all the things that are included in each tier, I grew tired just through reading. If you haven’t attended a big lolita event before, you would probably be starstruck at how much you get for your money. But I’ve been there and done that, and my priorities are different now. Dream Masquerade Carnival had all these extras and not only FOMO got to me to the point where I grew too exhausted to enjoy myself by the end of that first day, but I still haven’t done everything that was available (and the things I didn’t do, I regret missing out on, like not getting to the photo booth and getting individual coord shot at the fancy set). Myths in Dublin might not have been that overwhelming, but it was another long event and being dressed in an OTT coordinate for so many hours is tiring in itself. Traumerei has both: it will be two long days and FOMO will exhaust you further if you try to do everything that’s included in your ticket price. Again, those who have been to lolita events before will probably have enough experience and knowledge of themselves to prioritise what they really want most. But someone attending for the first time (if indeed there are any people like this given how the ticket sale went) will fall for those traps and this could in turn impact on their overall enjoyment of the event. They might also fall for the additional trap of trying to squeeze in outfit changes during the day, as the different parts could seem almost like different events. There’s only so much fun you can have and so many bright sides of life you can look at when your feet hurt, you have a headache, you feel tired, potentially dehydrated (carry a bottle of water, people!) and just want to change into pyjamas and lie down, watching Netflix with a cup of tea and a pizza or whatever. After four large scale events I am smart enough to know what I want out of it and prioritise that, but it has come at a price of exhaustion in the past. And truth be told, as someone who likes ‘value for money’ and enjoys getting ‘bang for my buck’, if I went to an event with some unusual extras, I would probably still fall for the trap of trying to do it all because I already paid for that and it’d be a waste not to. So even I, as an experienced lolita event goer, am not immune to this, despite consciously knowing better.

In conclusion

To every complainer I always say ‘well, you do it then’. It really does take an incredible amount of time, effort, energy and people to pull off an event at this scale, and I still think that we should be grateful that there are people like the SFE team who dedicate their time and energy to do it, even if we’re not quite happy with what they’re putting out there. Feedback (given in a civil way!) is how they can grow and improve in the future, and many big events have started small (like TPC). Yes, I was very disappointed with how Traumerei has unravelled because I had really been looking forward to it and expected it to go like it had in the previous years. I’m not in a position to organise an event of this scale (or even half of this scale) myself – yet. It has been on my mind and just like that perfume workshop ILD has eventually happened, I think this might too. In the meantime, I’m making an active and conscious effort to support other, smaller events that are opening themselves up to the wider European/international audience. Myths of Our Own and The Grand Embassy were both first of their kind in their respective countries, and I sincerely hope that they will find it in them to continue and grow. There are also several others that I have had my eye on that I would like to attend, so here’s me hoping that they’ve been big enough to warrant another one in the future.

At the same time, while my own personal predictions for Traumerei are not the brightest or best, I still hope that the event continues and maybe goes back to the format and scale it has been in the past. An event that’s too exclusive will struggle to grow and risks becoming a ‘you can’t sit with us’ club. I do wish Traumerei success, so that it can continue, and I do wish that the organisers involved in it will take all the feedback they received on board to improve and make it more accessible for more people in the events to come. You are putting in a tremendous amount of effort – it would be a shame to see that stop one day.

Rant over. If you’ve survived it all the way to the end, give yourself a big pat on the back and have that chocolate you’ve been thinking about – you’ve earned it! If you have any energy left after this, I would definitely appreciate hearing your opinion. Even more so if you’re an outsider to the SFE/European lolita communities because your unique perspective might bring to light things that I hadn’t considered. I feel like we need to openly talk about and discuss the things that bother us in our communities so that we tackle and solve them instead of sweeping under the rug and allowing resentment to grow, so let’s start that discussion here, in the safe space of this small blog.