Tailoring Your Wardrobe: Making it Work and Suit You

Very few of us in this fashion are lucky enough to both know exactly what we want and what suits us. While ‘normie’ fashion guidelines such as what flatters different body shapes still apply, due to the lolita silhouette often you won’t know what you feel best in until you try – and that may take some trial and error to figure out. Ultimately we want to feel gorgeous in this fashion, so here are some of my tips on how to tailor your wardrobe to work for you.

1. Stay Patient and Keep Trying

This sounds like the kind of advice you normally leave for last, although I feel it’s the most important one. It’s especially vital to reiterate it now, that we’re in full swing of the Wardrobe Post Season and many feel pressure and/or envy when looking through other people’s collections. Finding out what works for you style and fit-wise takes time – and then you need to add extra time to actually build a collection based on that knowledge! Some people go through a couple of pieces and some through dozens, some people manage that in one year and some take ten. Of course it’s discouraging when the search gets longer and you still ‘feel like a potato’, to use contemporary slang, but for as long as lolita fashion brings you joy and fun, keep at it. Each mistake is a lesson in what you don’t like on yourself, which ultimately brings you closer to the lolita that you will blossom into. And do your best to avoid comparing yourself to others. It sounds cheesy, but cacti don’t compare themselves to roses – they might both be prickly and (some) bloom, but they’re ultimately different.

2. Get Things that Fit Right

As a big part of my 2018/2019 eureka moment, I am determined to only keep pieces that fit me well. It makes the world of a difference when the clothes you love don’t make you feel uncomfortable in any way. This covers a range of things, from having to squeeze yourself in to something to just being self-conscious about a gaping blouse, even when it’s underneath a JSK. When your clothes fit you well, they are more flattering and make you feel more beautiful as you are. Yes, it may cost you more if you have to get pieces custom made – trust me, it will be worth it in the end!

3. Make Room for Experimenting

You may think you know what you love and what you’d feel good in. However, experience has taught me that things that we often didn’t imagine ourselves in, maybe even disliked, can be great for us. I thought I’d never get into ouji and that I wouldn’t wear gothic, yet here I am. But your experimenting can relate to anything, not just different styles. Try on a cut you never envisioned yourself in. Play around with flatlays to put together outfits outside of your comfort zone. Give that indie brand you’ve been eyeing a try. Trying new things allows us to grow, as we learn from these experiences, absorbing the good and reflecting on what didn’t work, and is how you will find what works for your lolita wardrobe.

4. Allow Yourself to Grow and Change

Change is a natural part of life, even if it can cause us some anxiety. It’s never been more obvious than now, with all these recent How Hard Did Puberty Hit You and other Glow Up challenges floating around social media. Look at your style when you were 10 or 15 years old. Would you dress like this now? Most people wouldn’t. Was it the style you felt good in at that time? For most people it was. I’ve gone through a phase of dressing quite tomboyish: long cargo trousers, No Fear clothing and yearning to be ‘that rock girl’ and not ‘that girly girl’ was my brand when I was around 14-15. I wouldn’t dress like this now, but back then it was my fashion goal. Similarly, I’ve gone into lolita wanting all the cheesecake pin-up-esque Sweet in bright colours, whereas now I’m all about those jewel tones, lean more classic than I do sweet and want simpler pieces I can wear daily. As one of my friends once put it, if you could go back in time you would still do the same thing because with the knowledge and experiences you had back then that was the only decision you could’ve made at that time. So even though it can be hard to let go of some things (and you don’t have to do anything drastically), accept that you might’ve changed as a lolita and that’s ok. Work with what you want your wardrobe to be now, not with what you wanted it to be a year ago or when you first started.

5. Confidence is Key

This is a bit of a two-way street. When clothes fit us well and we feel right in them, it gives us confidence. But we can also make clothes feel better on us if we have confidence within us and let it shine. It’s a ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ mentality.  If you love a piece and it makes you feel great, it shows and will come across to people on the outside – rather than how much you dislike gaping blouse buttons or having to put on a sports bra just to zip the dress up. So while I still encourage getting pieces that fit you well, I am also guilty of keeping some that don’t. And I combat that by allowing these gorgeous garments to make me feel confident and by exuding that confidence to the outside world, so that ultimately what the world sees is that this is my style, that I feel good in it and that it works for me.

These are things that I try to stick to and that I have discovered over the years. There’s not much more that you can do besides actually trying things on and evaluating for yourself what works and what doesn’t. At least even with the current oversaturation of the second hand sales market you can still sell your clothes on, so if something doesn’t work out you are not necessarily stuck with it.

How did you tailor your wardrobe to your needs? Any tips on ensuring everything works for you and suits you well? These other bloggers taking part in this week’s Lolita Blog Carnival prompt certainly have some, so make sure to check them out:

The Bloody Tea Party
Silk and Shears
In Love with a Dream