Secret Santa Shopping Tips

By now most of you are done with Secret Santa shopping, so yay for my great timing. Still, this could be a resource for next year, depending on how organised you are, so I’m going to do it anyway.

There are two kinds of Secret Santa: the one where you know who you’re buying for and the one where you don’t. In my experience, this corresponds to the EGL UK Secret Santa, which is an event run by and for UK lolitas via Elfster, and our comm Secret Santa at the ILD meet (I wrote about how it works e.g. here). Accordingly, I’m splitting my tips based on each kind of gift exchange.

When You Know Your Secret Santa

This should be quite straightforward: you get paired up with someone, stalk them, then buy them a present based on that within the allocated limit. Quite often people will post wishlists, either specifically for Secret Santa or general ones. And if it’s someone you know in person, they may even have told you something.

Unfortunately, things don’t always work out so well. Sometimes you draw someone you’ve never met and they don’t share any of their wishlists or any clues whatsoever. What to do then?

The first step is, again, stalking the hell out of that person. Depending on how the Secret Santa gift exchange is done, you may have an easier or harder time tracking this person’s social media. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, whatever they may use are all your friends. It doesn’t matter if they have a wishlist anywhere or not – look at their style. What substyle do they wear most often? Is there an activity they do a lot (or share doing a lot)? Do you feel like there might be a gap in their wardrobe based on the outfit pics you’ve seen? All of those should give you plenty of ideas as to what would be a good gift for them.

The more you know about the person you are buying for, the easier it will be. And at least with lolita you need a bit less info. Even knowing someone's favourite colour could help find a good present for them.

At the same time, keep your mind open and don’t restrict yourself just to lolita fashion. Even if the Secret Santa is labelled as EGL, you’re not forced to buy a fashion gift (though it is nice to get one to get one). Think outside the box. Maybe a flavoured tea or voucher to a patisserie chain that person frequents? How about a book that seems to fit their interests? Or cute stationery or décor, if you’ve glimpsed their room in some photos? Although it may be preferable to do a lolita gift, at the end of the day it has to be something the other person would like. Check with the rules of that particular gift exchange if in doubt. For example, the EGL UK Secret Santa is done with the premise that we might not always get lolita things from other people, so let’s gift them to each other and even that isn’t very strict.

Then, of course, don’t forget to wrap it as nicely as you can, maybe add a Christmas card and pop it all in the post in time for the person to receive it.

When You Don’t Know Your Secret Santa

This can be tricky: how does one buy a present without knowing who will receive it? A present lottery is simultaneously freeing you up from pressure to get it just right for that one person and adds more when trying to find something that’d work for everyone.

Here my approach is two-fold. Firstly, I consider who will be at the meet/event where the gift exchange will take place. Then I start by thinking of things that I might appreciate.

The more you know about the type of people who will attend, the easier it will be to shop. Are there more people of one style than another? And are those wearing other styles die-hard, hardcore, this and nothing else type or are they quite flexible? Explore and exploit any common grounds there may be.

From candles to sweets, there are many generic presents that still fit the lolita aesthetic. Simply try to stick to neutral colours, so that both Goths and Sweets could enjoy it equally.

Which leads to the second point: even though it’s a very stereotypical way to think about lolitas, there are plenty of things that we all enjoy. Or at least the majority of us. It’s easier to start with things that you might like: some aesthetic stationary, bath things, candles, tea or chocolates – you get the gist. Often when a gift is not someone’s cup of tea in lolita, it might still work for them outside of the fashion, increasing your chances of getting it right.

The thing to remember here is to go for middle of the road options here and maybe tone down some of the pinks and/or blacks (depending on what your comm is mostly into). And if your Secret Santa is like ours and involves stealing presents, then all the better! Even if someone doesn’t like your gift, someone else might love it enough to steal, which solves your problem.

General Tips

When shopping for Secret Santa, of either kind, I prefer going local. This means both shopping in person when I can, to save on postage, but also looking to indie brands. There are quite a few in the UK who create fantastic accessories, perfect for lolita and J-fashions, for reasonable prices. Buying my Secret Santa gifts from them not only gives me a chance to introduce someone to a great brand, but it also makes an independent creator do a happy jig.

Shopping local also makes you more environmentally friendly, as well as supports independent creators.

When opting for a strictly lolita gifts, accessories are best, as they generally fit all sizes and are often things people don’t buy themselves. Jewellery, brooches, wrist cuffs, headbows and hair clips, even berets, collars or socks – there’s a lot to choose from and there’s something for everyone there.

If you stick to non-fashion gifts, look at things that would be considered treats. Sweets, fancy tea, bath bombs, candles, pretty décor – anything that makes the person feel pampered and/or treated to something a little more luxurious than they might get themselves.

Personally I would leave crafting things out of the question unless you are very skilled at it. Without meaning to sound rude, you want the person to feel happy with the present they receive, not like a mum who received a macaroni necklace. Same goes with giving away your own stuff – unless it’s in brand new or like new condition, without any defects, however minor, it’s best to stick to buying something. It’s the season of giving, not clearing out your own rubbish.

And last tip – enjoy it! For many of us it’s the only chance to shop lolita things for someone else. Have fun whilst at it. If you feel excited (and a little jealous) by the things you’re getting as a present, then I’m sure your Secret Santa will appreciate them too.

Happy Secret Santa shopping!