January Coords Roundup

You know what? People who moan about January and grumble that it’s dreary are starting to wear on me. This year I am making a choice to change my attitude towards January. It’s a new year, a blank slate, filled with new possibilities. Yes, I carry around a lot of very negative baggage around my birthday, but that’s a work in progress too. It’s ok to still be tired and recovering from the year we’ve just closed, but let’s start being more positive about January as a promise of a new start. Because for anyone living in the Northern Hemisphere where the weather can get you down a bit, if we don’t shift our attitude towards this month, then we’ll just create a self-fulfilling prophecy and will have a drab time. And with that oddly unrelated preamble, this is some of how I chose to look during the month whilst making the most of it!

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Coord 1: Hatsumoude

| Metamorphose Classical Sister OP | offbrand haori, ribbon, tights, and necklace | Elf Armorie Cupid’s Heart shoes | Cutie Creator headbow | collar from a Little Dipper coat | handmade bracelets |

It's odd how the selfie that best shows off the eye makeup is one with glasses on.

The Year of the Rabbit is upon us. All the sweet lolitas are bracing themselves for the upcoming bunny prints.

To manifest a year filled with frills I went a little out of my way to dress in frills on January 1st (a little because I woke up later than I would’ve wanted, so despite having the outfit prepared since the night before, I needed to actively convince myself that I was going to wear this and not spend a day in pyjamas). I didn’t go anywhere, least of all to any places of worship, but inspired by the Japanese tradition of hatsumoude, or a first visit to a shrine in the new year, I tried to put together a wa lolita coord that referenced that. This is also hopefully going to help manifest Japan in winter 2023 for me, which I would really like to do - and then, who knows, maybe I will get to put together an actual hatsumoude outfit to take with me. For now though, this was comfy and warm for staying in and chilling on my sofa.

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Coord 2: First WFH of the Year

| Dear Celine Magic Book OP | Innocent World Lauretta OTKs | Sosic Shop shoes | Cutie Creator headbow | Patisserie Pink Bookshelf brooch |

The first selfie taken quickly at the start of my lunch break before I make my food.

Cute bow peekaboos.

A combination of the ‘wear frills in 2023’ manifestation, the seasonal wardrobe split, and the continuing to wear frills more casually has been working. Because the reason I picked this was noticing how this OP would be packed away once winter was over and wanting to capitalise on wearing it while I can, as well as on how easy it was to look good by just throwing an OP on. Even though I’ve worn it with brown before, I forgot how well this colourway pairs with browns and bronzey colours, it is a surprisingly warm-toned print overall (which I think may be what’s been throwing me off when trying to coord it - watch me not act on this realisation now).

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Coord 3: Quick Errand

| Violet Fane Charming Town skirt | The Seamstress of Bloomsbury Jive blouse | Axes Femme cardigan | Red Maria tights | offbrand boots, beret, and earrings | handmade headbow | Peppermint Fox brooches |

I keep going back and forth with this lipstick. It looks good with this coord though.

Anyone else feel like the height of the Peppermint Fox brooch craze is way behind us and it's almost surprising every time that PepFox does show signs of life still? I do kind of wish I hadn't missed most of their popularity peak.

The best errand ever as I went out to pick up my birthday cake, woo! This more than warranted dressing up and this bright, pink-based look with Charming Town really called to me. What can I say, I just love wearing this print with pink, that’s such a great combo. And it was an excellent day: I put the soundtrack from Hoa, which made me feel like I was on an adventure; I saw a gorgeous kitty, plenty of cute doggies, and even a fox during my time out; the day was bright, dry, and mild… And almost most importantly - the owner of the cake shop recognised that I was wearing lolita and we had the cutest interaction ever. I’m not sure whether she threw in an extra cookie and some truffles because of that or whether that’s just standard policy with cake orders, but it was a super sweet gesture regardless. Which I guess fits with their brand since the shop is called Be Sweet…

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Coord 4: Birthday

| L’Esprit de la Noblesse La Bibliotheque JSK | offbrand blouse, shoes, and brooch | Innocent World Rose Lace Millefeuille bolero | AatP Lace-Up Ribbon OTKs | Rose of Sharon hair clip | vintage necklace and brooch | vii ring |

This necklace belonged to my late Grandmother and even though it is very far from my style, I really love how it tied in to the coord and made me feel connected to a loved one.

Alexa, play the medieval cover of Toto's Africa.

And then came the day of adding another year to my tally. When planning what to wear, I was more focused with going for something I liked as opposed to something practical. The initial idea for this coord was also monochrome, but all in a darker shade of green. I wasn’t quite vibing with that and then remembered that I can do an all green coord with dark and light shades, which resulted in this. I’m very grateful for taking photos before leaving the house because it was a bit rainy and windy, so of course all the effort put into those curls did not survive that and when first styled I managed to achieve quite a voluminous cloud that was almost 80s looking. I spent the day fairly quietly: made myself a banging breakfast, then hung out with a friend during the day for dim sum and some light shopping, before coming back home to eat that cake I’d bought and open the Secret Santa for my Discord server which we wanted to do all together. Which did feel kind of like opening birthday presents, especially since my Secret Santa absolutely killed it and thanks to them I can genuinely cross out so many of my smaller wish/need list items! See for yourself if you don’t believe me.

Look at all this loot! The face mask was excellent and the chocolates were divine, though I am yet to try the teas or coord these pieces.

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Coord 5: Romantic Ouji

| Fan+Friend Alice Knight shorts | Baroque Secret Garden tights | Laura Ashley shoes | Gravelvet Iridescent Princess necklace | everything else is offbrand |

This ouji wants to take you on a romantic date somewhere very pink.

Hopefully everyone is focusing on the necklace and not on the glimpses of my underlayers.

Oh, it was definitely too cool to wear this, even around the house. But I was looking for ideas to wear these shorts (using Whering, actually), somehow the idea came to my head that I don’t need to tuck a top into the shorts, which led to looking for something with a more decorative bottom and ended up being this. It came together pretty much just as I wanted and I can’t deny that ouji is pretty comfortable for working from home.

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Coord 6: Craft Meet

| Violet Fane Otome Nostalgia skirt | The Seamstress of Bloomsbury Jive blouse | Amavel cardigan | Snag tights | offbrand boots and beret | Two Days Slow hair clips | Big Pink Boutique earrings | Madillustration brooch |

Me? Trying something very slightly different with my makeup? Well I'll be damned...

One day I will figure out how to take nice detail pictures of earrings that aren't flatlays.

My comm’s first meetup of 2023 was a craft one - which in my opinion is perfect for a first meet of the year. Chill, easy to organise (especially if you ask everyone to bring their own projects), inexpensive, no pressure on anyone, which makes this very easy entry to new people. Accordingly (for once) I kept my coord casual, prioritising comfort and weather suitability, though as it’s Otome Nostalgia, this print always gets a lot of compliments. It was lovely to see that we were split almost perfectly down the middle in the ratio of comm old timers to newcomers. Although I was so focused on power charging through my project that I didn’t get to talk to people as much as I would’ve wanted to. Hopefully there will be other opportunities. And in the meantime I have an item completely done, which I need for an event coord next month, which is also important.

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Coord 7: On Wednesdays We Wear Pink

| BtSSB Snow Dot skirt | Lazy Oaf top | offbrand tights and necklace | Irregular Choice Flickety Kiss shoes | Larme x Eat Me hair tie | Banned Retro Bella belt |

The fact that I don't actually put that much effort into my work looks and still end up looking pretty damn great tells you just how far off my scale is compared to non-lolita looks.

No comment except for LOOK AT THIS!

My latest main piece acquisition, BtSSB’s 2021 re-release of the Snow Dot skirt, arrived and I could not let it linger unworn for too long. Fortunately, I have bought it with the intention of wearing it more casually and so I wore it to work the first chance I could. I genuinely made a beeline for the ground floor bathrooms, which are the nearest ones to my office with decent full-length mirrors, just to take the outfit picture in peace (perks of being at work early, as few as there are). This skirt might be my new favourite, the fabric has the most satisfying cotton swish sound that you could want - if you’ve been on the fence about the Snow Dot series, I hand on heart recommend it.

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Coord 8: Pride & Prejudice (*sort of)

| Haenuli Lovely Memories JSK | Axes Femme blouse | Metamorphose Swallow-tail Jacquard jacket | Red Maria tights | American Duchess Bernadette shoes | vintage hat | Tiny Passerine Creations The Duchess’ Tea earrings and ring | Madillustration brooch |

Can you believe that this hat is actually supposed to be worn with the bow on the side? The 80s were wild, it looks so much better with the bow at the front, but then I can't use the elastic band to keep it in place. Might need to try to resew it.

After haunting my thoughts for at least a year and then another 6 months of waiting for the pre-order to arrive, I finally understand exactly why American Duchess shoes are so good. I kid you not, I did not take these off for the whole day and did not feel any discomfort at all.

Let’s be honest here, this whole coord came around because I was desperate to wear the shoes with lolita. And I am super, super happy with how the final outfit ended up, it’s pulling together all the right vibes despite the fact that the jacket, the hat, and the shoes are all slightly different sort of classic. I also really loved how this blouse worked with this JSK - the shades of blue are not as massively off as I thought they would and the pintucked bib and the ruffled dress neckline blended so well together. Whilst it is sad that I spent most of my time in this coord stressing out over work stuff, as the first major pinch point came at me work-wise, it also got to be worn for the theatre, and my first theatre show of the year no less, to see Pride and Prejudice (*sort of). And let me tell you, if you’re in doubt about whether to dress up and/or do things solo, then you absolutely should. My own ticket was in a comfortable nook in the last row next to the sound booth (so I actually had some extra space). But an older man approached me, asked if I was on my own, and when I confirmed, he offered me a seat in the second row as his wife was poorly and couldn’t come and he didn’t want the ticket to go to waste. That was an incredibly kind offer and I’m sure my outfit played at least some part in helping him spot me. The show was also great, a snort-laugh comedy version of the original with plenty of very clever jabs at the book and a lot of breaking the fourth wall, I would very happily go see this again if I ever get the chance!

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Coord 9: Saturday Outing

| BtSSB Secret AIR MAIL from Sweet Kitty JSK | A.R.W. blouse | offbrand jacket and tights | Sosic Shop shoes | Imogen’s Imagination beret | handmade choker and bracelets |

Excited for an adventure in a book shop! Go take yourself on an adventure to a book shop if you haven't done one in a while. I used to go so regularly as a kid with my parents and am only just realising how much I miss that.

The beret is what I won at the raffle/Secret Santa at Sheffield's ILD and I think it may be selling me onto spending more on berets than just a pound, the difference in quality is pretty clear.

First of all, would you believe that I was on the cusp of potentially selling this dress? What I thought was a lack of ideas and a disillusionment with how it fit me turned out to be a petti not big enough to fill it and the realisation that with this length I need to pair it with either tights or really long OTKs. I joined the Aurora & Ariel 16m violent petticoat club (which is also what I wore above with the Haenuli outfit) and I completely see and endorse the hype. This outfit proved to be a very comfy ensemble to wear for a casual outing to town to check out the new bookshop (I timed it wrong in that there were kids-focused events going on and it was full of kids, but I also saw Peter Rabbit and the staff were all super lovely) and finally visiting my local architectural salvage shop (where I alternated between wishing I had more space and wishing I had more money). I gathered a sizable handful of compliments from strangers on this dress, which further cemented its fate and it’s staying with me, no more doubts.

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Coord 10: Virtual Twinning

| Summer Fairy Limited Menu JSK | Fi.n.t. cutsew | MuFish tights | Sosic Shop shoes | offbrand beret, necklace, and bracelets | Innocent World Art Nouveau headbow |

Took some portrait shots instead of (or more like alongside) selfies, so I'm sharing one of those for a change of pace.

Lots of pleasing lines over here.

It’s been so long since I twinned with anyone, remotely or in person. And one of the great things about dumb prints like this one (other than the sheer joy they bring to wear) is that they bring their owners together. @babelstitch and myself have been planning this twinning outfit for a good few months, wanting to have something that we were both happy with instead of twinning asap, and I am so glad that we did. This outfit absolutely rocks and we really got to get our looks as similar as we possibly could have. Both of those factors contributed to me feeling actually giddy with joy once the outfit was on and I started taking photos (I may have gotten a touch trigger happy and clicked away, grinning like a silly person, getting way too many photos). And unwilling to take such a cute outfit off, I simply changed the shoes to more practical ones and went off to do my grocery shopping for the week, where the dress got a compliment from another shopper.

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Coord 11: The Patreon A. Club Meeting

| Song and Temple Fairytale Library skirt | Pretty Rock Baby Spring Break Upper East Side cardigan | Angelic Pretty Alphabet Marine OTKs | offbrand shoes | Innocent World Art Nouveau headbow |

There may not be much of those curls from the previous coord left, but that was after four solid days. I forget how well shorter (i.e. lighter) hair retains curls, it cemented my decision to chop my hair off as a good one.

God bless Meitu for saving photos taken in indoor lighting.

Ok, so the simplified form of this was also just what I wore for a whole day (simplified because it was an office day), but once I got back home I added those extra bits and took pictures. Well, and then took the extra bits off for comfort. But still! The point is that I made an effort to dress up because in the evening I went to Patreon’s Fashion A. Club meeting (where the “a” stands for accountability). Honestly, even though all the other people saw was my head and a bit of my shoulders, being actually dressed in “my” fashion (i.e. the one that I get to represent in that group) gave me a bit more confidence because let me tell you, I barely even said “hello” at the first one I got so intimidated by all these accomplished and talented folks. But that group is genuinely motivating me to be my best as a creator and to aim high so that I’m not just some tag-along-loser-at-the-cool-kids-table and so that I can see that I deserve to be there. Anyhow, the outfit itself was a slightly surprising realisation that I haven’t got a green-based coord with this skirt documented when I’m sure I must’ve had at least one. The socks may be a slightly odd choice, but books, letters, they’re in a similar enough ballpark and I do kind of like the quirky touch they add. And now keep your fingers crossed that I can get on top of my life enough to allow the same space for creating as I got used to over the course of 2020 because I’m learning so much from the people in the A. Club and then my tired adult arse says “nope, brush your teeth and go to bed now, no more creating” (boo).

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After making a conscious effort to kick-start the month with a lolita coord, I think the manifesting ritual worked, I’m very pleased that not only I have my usual (as of recent standards) handful of outfits to share, but also that there isn’t a single one here that I’m not pleased with. Towards the end of the month my zest for wanting to dress up and create cool outfits was returning, I even did good on my 2023 goal by actually taking a photo outside like I wanted and my head is once again filling up with ideas. Not all of those are blogging ideas, but they will all end up on the Internet somehow - though some may end up behind the Patreon paywall. So to the regular vocal readers and to the quiet people who I know are reading my posts and who don’t necessarily always make themselves known - I do have a Patreon. I don’t mention it enough here, but the blog posts end up there early for everyone and there are a bunch of exclusives that no-one else gets to see. I would love to see some fresh faces amongst the Patreon crowd. Now, fingers crossed that this manifesting and creative energy can last and carry me through the rest of the year.

Reviewing My No Buy Rules

Since September I have had a very thorough set of no buy rules, which I explained in some detail here. The plan was to stick with them until the end of the year and then review - which falls for now. If you’re going to make bets on how I did, then place them now and verify at the end of the post.

What Went Well?

Tracking all purchases. My memory is not what it used to be and relying on just keeping the emails until something arrives and is confirmed to be fine wasn’t efficient. Keeping a log of everything I bought, with the details of when, for how much, when it was posted etc. did me a lot of good and I probably should’ve started doing that sooner.

Splitting spending pots. Having several different pots of funds for the various kinds of spending that I do generally worked really well. Not perfectly, sometimes things were a bit of a faff to transfer back and forth, but overall it kept me in check. Especially the non-lolita fund as it seriously limited how much I’d just buy whilst out in town with a “treat yourself” attitude. The lolita PayPal pot has been going for a while now, so I was already mostly used to it, though it still sometimes required a reminder that my non-lolita clothing purchases should also be made with money from that pot.

Knowing what I actually want from my style. Although this is still somewhat of a work in progress, given that the classic side of my wardrobe spans several different (even if somewhat overlapping) themes, it became much easier to keep my spending mindful with a definitive guide to what I wanted from my wardrobe overall. This was probably the biggest factor that reinforced all the other good habits I already had (a detailed and specific wishlist, a mandatory waiting period, a separate money pot etc.).

What Could’ve Gone Better?

The flow charts. They’re fantastic in theory and whilst they didn’t come out of nowhere (as in they’re based on the sort of internal monologue I’d have with myself anyway), I rarely referred to them directly. I didn’t need to formalise my decision making process to that extent. As such, the flow charts will live in my archive as something that I may occasionally refer to or use as a resource elsewhere, but not really for my personal use.

Too complex in general. There were simply too many rules to remember and I wasn’t going to constantly go back to the file with all those rules to check that I was sticking to every single one. I did initially, but as time went on it started to get out of hand, became too overwhelming and unmanageable. In hindsight, I don’t think I broke out of those no-buy rules too much, at least I can’t recall any major incidents of buying something I really shouldn’t have, which goes to show that writing all of that down was excessive.

The consequence/reward system. It’s great in theory and I’m not about to argue with the behavioural psychology underpinning it. However, I lacked adequate means of tracking how successful I was with sticking to my own rules during a month (once again, memory is not a reliable tool for these things, especially as there were some grey areas). On top of this, whilst my consequence was clearly laid out, my reward was very vague and since it didn’t feel like anything different from what I would’ve done anyway, the motivating factor was lost. I’m not sure yet whether I’ll try to reinstate this in any form - I might as there is another goal that I could tag along with this. We’ll see.

The Neutral Stuff

In-person shopping rules. I can’t say that I followed those every single time I shopped, especially with regards to waiting/going around a shop once before committing. At the same time, as someone who remembers better once they write something down, knowing that this was something I should be mindful of, I did find myself going out into in-person shopping a little bit more prepared. At the event in Germany I used vlogging as an excuse to do one round without buying and then started my shopping. After that, when shopping out and about in Manchester, I usually had a list of things I wanted to get. Whenever I go into a charity shop, even when I stumble into one, I tend to make an intention of what I am going to look for before going in. All in all, not entirely a success as I’d initially outlined it, but resulted in good habits to try to keep up with.

Coping strategies. Or not so much the coping strategies themselves as much as recognising and naming when I am most likely to window shop and why. Again, my track record here wasn’t 100% perfect, but there were positive changes here. I hardly ever window shopped after 10pm, which is the bedtime set on my phone after which it restricts most apps. I tried to first identify the emotions that were pushing me towards window shopping to see if I could resolve them differently. And when I succumbed to window shopping regardless, at least I had that internal voice reminding me that I’m not seeking a thing, I am seeking comfort/entertainment/validation/whatever, which led to me being extra careful and making sure that I do put things on a waiting list first before clicking ‘buy’. Just generally being more mindful of my emotions and understanding why I’m window shopping has been wonderful and I can’t recommend that level of introspection enough.

Spray Bottle channel. I’ve not used it as much as I thought I would, which is both a shame and a testament to the fact that I was doing pretty well and didn’t need it so much. But when I did use it, it was incredibly effective. Very often I am all too aware that I’m acting on impulse or doing something I shouldn’t (so feeling guilt before I even do the thing), but my own voice alone is not enough to convince me to stop. At times like that I know that I need to hear the same message from a different voice, which that Discord channel offered. And with another voice comes a level of accountability - now succumbing to temptation comes with not just guilt, but also a sense that I may have disappointed those who were rooting for me. Despite the channel name, the main rule there is that of compassion, so no chastising people when they give in, offering them kindness and encouragement instead. But it still feels nicer to know that you haven’t disappointed anyone in the first place.

Conclusion

Looking at how that last quarter of 2022 went, I don’t think that the no-buy rules were what kept me from impulse buying or overspending. It feels more accurate to say that those rules are a written version of the sort of decision making process that I go through anyway and that guide my purchasing habits anyway. It’s not that I needed them to not give in to impulse buys because impulse spending isn’t a massive problem for me. Instead writing them down was a culmination of the wardrobe overhauling journey and figuring out my style within lolita fashion. Because every area where I’ve done well in has been within lolita (where I now have clarity of what I want) and the minor “treat yourself” purchases, whereas every area where I could improve in was mainly with non-lolita clothing and home decor where I still need to figure some things out. Once I nail those down, I’m sure that my purchasing habits will improve. And in the meantime I’m going to leave that no-buy rules document be. I can trust myself to do the financially responsible thing, armed with the understanding of where so much preventative work on my part comes from, and enjoy life without making spending control a new thing for me to obsess over. I am very proud of myself for that admission alone, so let’s close this chapter on that.

2023 Wish/Need/Replace List

I’ve spent some time looking over my wardrobe post and last year’s lists to make sure that I kick 2023 off with as accurate an idea of things that I actually need and should focus on as possible. These posts are what I refer back to the most, so although changes are inevitable, the more I get right from the get go, the more focused my experience over the year tends to be.

Image from AdobeStock.

REPLACE

By the end of 2022 I have managed to get rid of a couple more things, but sadly not replaced any. There are only a few very minor additions to that list because thankfully all of last year’s overhauling resulted in getting rid of bits that don’t fit my size or style so well.

Click to enlarge.

I do need to be a bit firmer in terms of actually committing to getting these replacements. There is being specific about what I want and there is being overly picky. By the end of this year I would like to have replaced the socks, the shoes, and the bonnet at the very least. Only time will tell how manageable that proves to be.

NEED

The need list is the one that saw the most changes as I seriously pondered the topic of what would fill the gaps within my wardrobe. With how specific the sweet side of my wardrobe is now and how broad the classic one still is, identifying the missing pieces for the sweet side became easier, even though it’s the classic one that needs those fillers more. This right here is the best stab that I could manage at tackling both.

Top two rows are for sweet things and bottom two - for classic ones.
Click to enlarge.

To describe the above in some specifics, my needs for 2023 are:

• Sweet
• A brooch in red and a neutral shape.
• A necklace in navy and a neutral shape.
• A pair of white OTKs/tights with a neutral navy pattern
• A pair of white OTKs/tights with a neutral sax pattern
• A pair of ankle socks in sax
• A pair of large neutral earrings in sax and/or mint
• A pair of large neutral earrings in red
• A wide belt in sax
• Classic
• A long sleeve bolero in sax (Millefeuille style)
• A short sleeve blouse in ivory (cotton or mesh, not too high a neckline)
• A romantic headbow or headdress in pink
• A beret in light pink
• A flat or small headbow in wine red
• A bracelet in gold x emerald green

I’m not deluding myself that this is everything, it definitely isn’t. Even with a sense of direction and a comprehensive wardrobe spreadsheet it can be hard to put a finger on what I may be missing until I actually try to use it in a coord. There are also a few bits that I would say are needs (e.g. a couple more cutsews or a few more pairs of walking shoes), however, I am considering those in general, for my wardrobe overall, rather than specifically for lolita, so I’m hesitant of putting them on this list to hold myself accountable for. Those are more of your ‘if they happen, they happen’ kind of pieces, the ones that I’ll be checking for every now and then on Vinted, Mercari or in charity shops, but not really be bothered about being regular or strict about doing so. Still, even if all I manage this year is to add the pieces I named up here, that’d be a pretty solid addition to my collection and a boost to my wardrobe’s wearability.

WISH

Ever since the slight revamping last year the main pieces wishlist feels like the one that’s been the most consistent, withstanding the majority of the changes. Because yes, as far as the printed main pieces go, these haven’t changed much beyond my recognising that just because I don’t think acquiring the Axes Femme Coca-Cola JSK is realistic, it doesn’t mean that I want it any less, so that was went in. And I tried to pad out the bottom line with some ideas because even though that’s meant for some daily pieces, having something to go by would still help me instead of chasing the elusive “I’ll know that I want it when I see it”. Although let’s be honest, that’s still very much the case.

Top row are things that I just like and want. Middle is for things that I am justifying wanting on the basis that they'll be for seasonal wear. And the bottom row is for things that I'd like for more daily wear.
Click to enlarge.

To aid in finding these, as not everyone is familiar with print names, here is what’s in each tier:

• Fanciful wishes
• Meta’s Airline JSK in navy
• Mary Magdalene’s Arabesque Rose in ivory (original release with shirring)
• Angelic Pretty’s Antoinette Decoration JSK in ivory (now will accept either cut and maybe even prefer the other one)
• BtSSB’s Bless from Michael JSK in Harajuku-exclusive emerald green
• Meta’s Memories Garden JSK in ivory (any JSK cut without a bustle)
• Meta’s Vintage Fruits OP in red
• Axes Femme Coca-Cola JSK in red
• BtSSB’s Antoinette Bouquet JSK in wine, the 2012 Memorial Series cut
• Seasonal wishes
• BtSSB’s Kumya’s Christmas Market JSK in either red or sax (for my actual Christmas print)
• A sailor collar OP in navy or ivory (any brand, as long as it’d fit me, preferably in cotton or linen)
• BtSSB’s DOKI DOKI Strawberry Magic skirt in red
• Daily wishes
• Innocent World’s Cool Rose JSK in wine
• A black A-line skirt, as non-fussy as possible
• A short sleeve cotton OP

With the non-main piece wishlist I’ve allowed myself to be specific with the Innocent World Millefeuille boleros instead of just skirting around the subject. I want them all, let’s just list what’s left to get and have it out in the open. The rest, like the main pieces wishlist, has remained relatively unchanged as I’m not necessarily chasing after anything in particular at this point.

Top row is for the Millefeuille boleros. Middle is for layering pieces. And bottom is for accessories and everything else.
Click to enlarge.

And again, to list these for the sake of clarity, here it is all listed in text:

• The Millefeuille boleros
• pure smooth in any colourway;
• the 2010 tulle lace also in any colourway, but only as long as it’s this specific lace (the Lolibrary page seems to include pictures from all kinds of releases);
• shell lace, which I originally wanted in brown, but now that I have the 2012 original lace one in brown I will take shell lace one in any colourway;
• and a pink Millefeuille in any kind of lace (they were only ever available in rose and ribbon, and given that there were more of the rose lace made than of the ribbon lace, I am trying to stay realistic by keeping my options open).
• Layering pieces
• An overskirt in white or ivory
• A front-lacing cottagecore corset vest/bodice in some ivory-based gobelin
• An underskirt in navy, preferably in a fabric than has more body than chiffon (I don’t mind chiffon as the frill, but it would lay better over a petticoat)
  
• Accessories
• A wine vintage hat, either a percher or a wide brim
• Something from Q-Pot’s soap series

THE INKLINKS

This can only be based on what I already know about, either through early sneak peek previews or because I’ve been stalking something for a while. No doubt there will be plenty of surprises in store with what does actually get released, but if I can anticipate and prepare for at least one thing, it would still help either by building up a bigger buffer for all those purchases or by curbing my spending urges with reminders of what I’m actually looking for.

My bank account feels very endangered already.

The pieces above are:

• Lady Sloth’s Bestiary JSK in ivory
  
• Lief’s Boulangerie print in white
  

It always feels great to refresh these lists. As nice as ticking acquisitions off is, having a clean slate fills me with motivation to look for these things and a sense of lightness as the weight of past needs or wishes is dropped. What I should really be focusing on is my non-lolita wardrobe, as that is all kinds of all over the place, but that’s at the same stage as my wardrobe overhaul was this time last year, which means endless procrastinating.

2023 Lolita Goals

 This time I started preparing for this post a little earlier. As always, I want my goals to be meaningful, as well as easily measurable, so they’re not of the “buy/don’t buy X” variety; that’s what the wish/need/replace list is for. Some may seem like they’re going against the trends I started in 2022, but that’s not quite it - they’re there to add another layer to how I engage with lolita fashion rather than override anything that I’ve done last year. With that beating around the bush done, here are the goals that I am setting for myself for 2023.

1. Take More Outfit Shots Outside

Might as well kick off with the heavily hinted contradiction. I still want to continue with taking off the pressure to document every single outfit that I wear through mirror selfies or even by allowing myself to not take a picture at all. However, I’ve enjoyed the variety of outfit shots that I was able to get in the latter half of 2022. My stance has always been to take outfit shots before leaving the house, so that I could enjoy the meetup/event/activity instead of stressing over getting that coord documented and potentially bothering someone to retake the photos when I don’t like the outcome. The point of this goal isn’t just to have more of a variety of backgrounds, although that would be nice as a confirmation that I do things outside of my house too. I mainly want to get over my own self-consciousness at taking photos outside by myself. It’s not that weird anymore to grab a tripod and take some pictures, and it’s not like being perceived as an influencer is that bad of a thing either, so I should stop making it into such a massive issue in my head and just do it. As simply saying “more” isn’t quite specific enough, which was the trap I fell into with last year’s mirror selfie goal, this time I will say that I’d like to have at least one photo like that every quarter. Once a month is the true aim here, but as that depends on so many factors (activity, weather, time, what I can pack etc.) once per quarter seems more realistic.

Motivating myself to j u s t  d o  i t !

2. Invest in Some Lolita Art/Decor

One of my wider goals for this year is to make my flat more aesthetically pleasing to me. It was supposed to be the goal for 2022, but it fell flat on its face, so I’m carrying it over into 2023. There is still a lot of hesitation within me regarding doing anything too permanent because where I am now doesn’t feel permanent enough to some part of me. However, I can work on that at the same time as making changes that aren’t too big of a commitment. Therefore, I would like to obtain at least two pieces of lolita art or home decor this year. And it’s phrased like this, i.e. pretty broadly, on purpose. This will allow me to meet the goal more easily, regardless of how it happens. I could get a commission from a lolita artist or of one of my lolita outfits. It may be that I find a novelty item for sale that could be displayed somewhere. It could even be that I finally get my act together, gather the various pieces of lolita art that I already have, like postcards, brand bags, calendars etc., and create something out of those. I don’t know yet what direction I will take. All that I know is that I’d like my flat to be prettier for me and that lolita, being as big a part of my life as it is, is the perfect starting point for more. Oh, and I know that with the sort of vague aesthetic/home decor styles that I have in mind for the various places around my flat, it will be something either for the living room, for my bedroom or for the tiny box of a corridor that is probably the most drab and the most in need of some livening up.

Starting a collection of teacups and saucers is the dream that my storage space stubbornly refuses to give in to.
Image from Lolibrary.org.

3. Make One Item from Otome no Sewing

Turns out that just buying Otome no Sewing doesn’t magically make one a proficient maker of clothing or accessories. It’s prime time that I put those mooks to some use and make at least one thing from there. I’m deliberately not committing to anything specific at this stage so as to avoid getting overambitious. I will definitely not be making anything at all just to tick this off, it has to be something that will enhance my wardrobe one way or another. Whether that ends up being a hair accessory or an entire garment, that remains to be seen. Hopefully once I get started and familiar with using patterns, the high of having made something will kick in and motivate me to try more, building my skills and getting me to a stage where I’m less reliant on what’s available to purchase for when I am planning a specific coord or simply in need of an item.

At the time of writing volume 17 is on its way to me, which will give me more options to choose from.

4. Transfer My Entire Wardrobe to Whering

Right at the end of 2022 I downloaded Whering and gave it a stab, after seeing a friend have much success with it. Although I still plan on keeping my wardrobe spreadsheet as the primary means of tracking my wardrobe, I have found the app to be pretty neat and would love to explore its flatlay option more. However, as is often the case when you own a lot of stuff, the task is very time consuming, particularly as the app’s AI is still not fully able to identify what it’s looking at, requiring manual overwriting of all the tags. Ideally, I would like to transfer not just my entire lolita wardrobe, but literally every single piece of clothing that I own onto there, so that my outfit planning can become a bit more consistent. So to keep the goal more focused and relevant to here, let’s say that I’d like to have all of my lolita pieces uploaded to Whering by the end of March and everything else - by the end of June (to give those spring/summer pieces a chance to come out of storage). If I can manage that, it’d make putting together hypothetical outfits easier for me, as well as enable me to create capsule wardrobes with my own pieces faster, since my stalling in that area is a direct result of how much time putting things into collages is.

The app is very obviously aimed at mainstream fashion, but you can definitely make it work for lolita.
Picture taken from Whering.co.uk

As per tradition, the overachiever within me kept trying to add more to this, restrained by the rational and sensible side. There’s no point in overexerting myself, that’s just a fast track to burnout. The four goals above, whilst seemingly quite broad, reflect where I am at with my life now, at the start of 2023. They will be a guide towards the version of myself that I would like to become and an anchor to the values that I hold close. And whilst there will inevitably be procrastination (when isn’t there any?), they are neither too overwhelming nor overly broad so as to make them harder to achieve. This is practically the definition of SMART goals (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound) and I am excited to get started on them.

What sort of goals or resolutions are you putting on yourself for this year, if any? Are you also trying to scale down to one or two things that you know you’ll manage or going all out with everything that you can think of in the hopes that something will stick?

December Coords Roundup

Happy New Year, everyone! I deliberately put off publishing this post until after 2022 was over because I deluded myself that I would wear more frills in the last few days of the year. Still, it goes well with my theme of slowing down.

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Coord 1: Christmas Kick Off

| Lady Sloth Winter Spices skirt and necklaces | Stroje.pl blouse | offbrand socks | Elf Armorie Cupid’s Heart shoes | bows from Haenuli’s Whipped Cream Kitty JSK | Sweet Dolly House Cookie Bon Bon ring | Beckie’s Kawaii Charms ring |

I should probably look into getting more bow clips like this to wear for more casual looks.

It makes me very happy that everything you see in this photo except for the ring was made in Poland.

Gotta ring in the festive month with an appropriately festive look! And seeing as Winter Spices is currently my only Christmas print (even if not the most obnoxious one compared to other Christmas prints), let’s give it as much time to shine as I can. Starting with this coord inspired by the colour scheme, cosy feelings, and repping that Slavic culture hard.

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Coord 2: Winter ILD

Photo by @zixizel
| Baroque Repose of Queen OP | Lady Sloth Glitter Mesh blouse | AatP Arabesque OTKs | Angelic Pretty Elegant Doll boots | offbrand boot toppers, capelet, crown brooch, and rings | vintage hat and snowflake brooch | vii earrings | Le Petit Four bracelet |

As happy as I am with the outfit as a whole, it's those earrings that are making me the happies.

Tiny crown hiding in the hat.

This year the Sheffield comm organised the Winter ILD tea party, which combined with their 10th anniversary as a comm. My coord was partly inspired by the season and partly by the theme of ‘celebration’. Choices were made to sacrifice comfort for the sake of the look, but I survived the meetup and the travel there and back. And the meetup itself was absolutely wonderful! I saw people whom I haven’t seen in person in years, chatted to some new souls, received a present from Santa himself, laughed and cried (with joy) at how great the vibes were, as well as at the zine that the comm put together for the occasion. Honestly, it was pretty close to a perfect tea party - it would’ve hit that mark if it was a little bit longer. Two and a half hours flew by and because of the travel back to Manchester (which was additionally affected by delays), I probably spent more time on the train than at the meetup. Though it wasn’t all so bad because I had wonderful travel companions, so the train journey was almost like another meetup.

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Coord 3: CLAM Christmas Lunch

| After Midnight The First Semester JSK | Axes Femme cutsew | Resailan Jewelry Box tights | Elf Armorie Cupid’s Heart shoes | offbrand beret, hair ribbon, and earrings | Two Days Slow hair clips | vintage necklace and brooch | Star Glazed Delights ring | red ribbon and bows from Haenuli’s Whipped Cream Kitty JSK | gold bow from Dear Celine’s Magic Book OP |

This hairstyle came out so cute, you're going to see it again.

A little shoutout to the days when a portrait picture was my detail shot. All to get the Christmas tree in.

It’s been an entire week before frills happened again, but what an occasion to save frills for! I organised a Christmas lunch for the Manchester comm - not an afternoon tea, but an actual three course lunch of festive gluttony, to be fancy as well as merry and well fed. Shirring was mandatory and when reviewing what I had that was festive and good for eating meets, this dress won. The coord was actually put together via a live coordination session with some friends on Discord. It started out completely different, totally different vibe, but I don’t own enough to make that other vibe happen just yet. In the process this somehow manifested itself and once it did, the journey was to completion very smooth. The meetup also turned out to be a success, not just in terms of everyone having a great time (though that also happened), but it actually pushed me fully into feeling festive as fuck. Up until the day I’ve been surrounded by festive things, but not really feeling the festive spirit. Being with the lolita community, enjoying the time we get to spend together and the overwhelming positivity and support that we share was the key missing part of Christmas. Because that’s it, the holidays aren’t about the gifts or the decor, but about the people we spend our time with. Putting in the time to make something lovely for my comm paid back dividends in festive cheer and I should probably stop here before I make myself cry with all this gushing, though that doesn’t make it any less true. So let me leave you with a quick snap of what I included in everyone’s goodie bags and the food.

Everyone got a colouring page (art by Gloria Copetillo), a gingerbread house tealight holder, a Christmas-scented tea light, a Salted Caramel Lebkuchen tea, and a cute pen.

I'm afraid that I did not manage the whole thing, but it was scrumptious. Hand for scale, of course.

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Coord 4: Christmas Break

| The Black Ribbon Konbini Market JSK | offbrand top, jacket, and hair clips | Irregular Choice High Score shoes | Chrysanthemum’s Concerto beret | Melty Wish necklace |

All that Y2K revival around has somehow slipped into my life too. I tried to do my makeup as I remembered doing it in the 2000s, but this is definitely way better than what I did back then.

Been itching to pair this JSK with this necklace (and with the shoes) ever since I purchased the necklace in Germany.

It was both a break from Christmas (dressing) and day 2 of my actual Christmas break. I took the opportunity to film a video that will hopefully be out in January, so a non-festive look was required to avoid unnecessarily dating the video. That and I just had this idea in my head ever since this dress arrived and was glad to make it happen. I’m sure I could’ve pushed the idea further, but with what I own this came together really well. My hair was freshly washed and resistant to being worked with, though at the same time it gave me some 90s/00s vibes, so I leaned into those with the more minimal makeup. After the filming was done I spent the evening watching cheesy Christmas films on Netflix to bring the break from the festive stuff to a close. It was still December, there was only so much allowed for rest from being festive.

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Coord 5: Postal Elf

| Metamorphose Gold Braid Tuck Pinafore JSK | Stroje.pl blouse | Angelic Pretty Lovely Ribbon OTKs | Bodyline shoes | offbrand beret | Melty Wish earrings and necklace | Violet Fane brooch | handmade ring |

Told you this hairstyle would be back.

My friends and I have this running joke of "Postmen Bear when, Meta?" because of our shared love for postal motifs and Meta's prints featuring Bears Doing Jobs That Bears Should Not Be Employed To Do.

When I watched Dodo the Extinct’s lookbook with coords inspired by elves with jobs at the North Pole, my mind went to the elves who sort Santa’s post. Which then materialised itself as this outfit. This JSK is back from alterations and is now super comfortable - enough to be worn for a whole day without issues as I went shopping and took myself out to dinner. It was a fantastic day and I enjoyed putting a sweeter outfit with this dress for its return to me. But yes, Postmen Bears when, Meta?!

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Coord 6: Christmas Eve

| Alice Girl Velvet Cake OP | Resailan Jewelry Box tights | Elf Armorie Cupid’s Heart shoes | Ebony & Ivory hair clip | Puvithel Crystal Heart earrings and necklace | Le Petit Four bracelet |

Ah, winter... The time of trying to work around awful indoor lighting and trying every trick in Meitu's arsenal to edit the photos after to a bearable and somewhat accurate standard.

Not so fun fact: of the 5 Le Petit Four bracelets I bought, 2 need repairs already. Which is sad because they are amazing and whilst the repairs aren't major (tightening the links or, in case of this one, replacing the lobster clasp), it makes me more worried to wear them in case I damage or even lose them. That I didn't lose this one on the way to the Christmas Eve dinner is just divine intervention.

After sitting in the bag it came in since May, this dress finally got an outing. I have been sort of saving it for Christmas, since velvet is both warm and fancy, whilst it being an OP would just make my life easier on the day. Of course, indoor lighting after sunset is never flattering, so the photos went through a hefty filtering process with Meitu to get it to be somewhat close to reality, though at least the elegant vibe came through.

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Coord 7: Pointless in the End

| BtSSB Soirée of the Beginning of My Memories JSK | The Seamstress of Bloomsbury Jive blouse | Innocent World Original Lace Millefeuille bolero | Peacockalorum underskirt | Innocent World Belle Epoque OTKs | Sosic Shop shoes | Cutie Creator headbow | offbrand necklace | Fluffy Tori Tea Party Hard pin | Le Petit Four ring |

I did all this to my hair, filmed, went grocery shopping, and then chopped my hair that very same evening. Absolutely true story.

I may not party hard, but I like to think that I tea party hard.

It sounds harsh to call this coord pointless because it is a really nice look and it was nice to finally wear a coord that I’ve first put together last year. But the reason I dressed up was to film a video - which I did. And when I transferred the file to my computer I realised that I filmed that exact video only 2 weeks prior in the Konbini Market coord. Big facepalm moment. Still, the coord was lovely and a good one to wrap frilling in 2022 up on.

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To be completely honest, I thought that I’d wear lolita more in December. Not that seven coords is bad, but I thought that I’d have the energy for more. Which was foolish of me because I am old enough to know that at the very least the combination of end-of-year tiredness and working more days at the office is not conducive to frills. With the cold weather snap, getting used to being new-job-tired, and simply prioritising other kinds of clothes during the month, the fact that I managed seven coords is enough of an achievement. So I will celebrate that instead of dwelling on what the expectations were. Hopefully you managed to wear some outfits that you were really proud of over the course of 2022, whether just one or dozens, and here’s to another year filled with this glorious, ridiculous fashion!