Why You Should Let Other People Dress You

The Lolita Fashion Youtubers’ Dress Me Up Collab, which I took part in, has gotten me thinking about how wonderful it is to be dressed by other people. At the same time, I’m aware that this isn’t something that everyone will have done, for a variety of reasons. So to encourage you all to give this a go - as well as to add a bit of extra promotion to the collab, my video from it is here and you should absolutely check out what everyone has done - here are some of the reasons of why letting others dress you is a great idea.

1. Opening New Possibilities

The first and foremost benefit is that we all have a different perspective, as well as preferences when it comes to styling. With lolita fashion in particular having a strong focus on creativity and self-expression, we are more inclined to want to find as many ways to wear what we have as possible (that’s also great environmentally and economically as the price-per-wear will go down with each coord!). But it’s easy to get stuck thinking within the box of what you know and have done. Bringing in an outsider to both your wardrobe and your head is the fastest way to smash that in-the-box thinking by showing you options that were hiding in plain sight. Once you see this new-to-you combination or try this trick that hadn’t even crossed your mind before, you will look at your wardrobe differently and wonder what else you could try this same idea with. This refuels your creative drive, gets you even more excited by the things you already own instead of pining after the next purchase, and before you know it that price-per-wear has gone even further down with all the outfits that you created as a direct result of someone else’s input.

Outfit courtesy of @a.gatogetaway

2. An Expression of Love and/or Appreciation

Without having the data to back it up, I imagine that one of the reasons that stops people from asking others to dress them is because they feel like they don’t have anyone to ask. The fact that lolita fashion comes with all these “rules” can make it seem like only another lolita could do it, which would be hard if you don’t yet have lolita friends to call upon. Newsflash: this barrier is entirely made up! In fact, I’d argue that getting people who don’t wear lolita to try their hand at putting together a coord is a much more effective way at getting out of your comfort zone since they will bring in a completely fresh perspective. And the people in your life who love and appreciate you: family, friends, partner, anyone close enough to you to know that this is a fashion that you wear, would probably feel honoured to be asked because they will already know what this fashion means to you and how carefully you select each item that goes in. Being able to do that for you would be a way for them to show you how they see you in those clothes and try to bring some more joy into your life because you deserve it. And if they really don’t have a clue about how to put together a lolita outfit - just guide them a little.

Coord courtesy of Nat from @petticats

3. Removes the Burden of Thinking

As much as we love to express ourselves creatively through the coords we put together, sometimes the energy just is. not. there. Life gets in the way, but the meetup or occasion that you want to dress up for is still there regardless. If someone has already done the thinking for you and created an outfit that just needs putting on, then you absolutely should take advantage of that. Preserve your energy for what matters, which is enjoying the outing, by taking what someone else has already offered to you and throwing it on. And if you’re a new lolita or about to go to your first meetup: having someone who’s been in the fashion for a bit giving you a coordinate will ease some of the pressure of wanting to make a good first impression. This used to be a common February theme on Livejournal, right after everyone had shared their wardrobe posts in January, which has disappeared slightly, but I’m sure if someone were to start a thread like this in Rufflechat or one of the Discord servers you may be in, an option would come around. That’s how I’ve gone to my first meetup and can hand on heart say that it made me feel calmer enough to actually enjoy myself instead of worrying about how I looked.

Coord courtesy of @zixizel

If you’ve never had someone create a lolita coordinate for you and you are reading this post, hopefully you will take it as a sign from the universe to have a go. Ask someone you trust, start a thread/challenge in your local community, join a collaboration like the one the Lolita Fashion Youtubers group has done. And most importantly: have fun with it. Because if you’re not having fun with that whole process, then you’re definitely doing it wrong and missing the point!