Should I Keep Growing My Wardrobe?

First, some clarification is in order that I am talking specifically about clothes, and even more specifically - about main pieces. The pandemic is wreaking havoc with all of our thoughts. I’ve been finding myself on numerous occasions thinking that with wearing lolita so much more now I should probably get a few more dresses that would be easy to wear and dress up or down according to need. At the same time, while I may be wearing lolita more now, this isn’t guaranteed to last long into the return to office work, which in turn poses the question of how many main pieces does one actually need. And this is the topic for today’s Organise My Thoughts As I Type post.

A fraction of what I own. Where do I stop?

Starting off with a difficult aspect that I already mentioned: the need. Taking this to the most extreme level, I don’t have any real clothing needs except maybe getting rid of bits. I have things to wear for every occasion and weather, both lolita and otherwise. Anything more is pure fancy, not a genuine need, and I already own more than I wear, both of which I am acutely aware of as I evaluate my lifestyle more in the context of sustainability and ethical consumption. It isn’t about achieving perfection in being a sustainable and ethical consumer, but as previously new things grow into habits that you can rely on it’s important to see what else you can add to your routine to take another step in the right direction. And driving the consumption cycle further is the last thing that could help.

Having said this, lolita is a luxury and as such never has been about tangible needs. Moreover, advocates of sustainability generally agree that action isn’t meant to take away personal joy, but rather shed light on the wider issue and encourage people to get their serotonin fix in as ethical way as they possibly can. Lolita fashion, with its emphasis on the second hand market and plenty of independent creators, is already a much better style to indulge in than fast fashion trends, despite not being perfect (nothing is, really). So if I am genuinely wearing it more and think that I will keep it up, expanding my wardrobe with a couple of extra durable, versatile and wearable bits should be ok, right?

I am very boujie at heart (well, maybe not just) and this is something that I need to keep in check with myself so that I don't end up living above my means. But fashion is a luxury when your baseline is already having lots of clothes to wear that you do feel good in and simply want more of that feeling.
Top row are Teuta Matoshi's designs, bottom row are British Retro ones, both taken from their respective websites. Both are looks that I am currently pining after.

When I examine my work wardrobe from back when I was going to the office every day, it was dominated by skirts and one piece dresses, mostly Axes Femme. Those are quick to put on in the morning, great to layer to suit a variety of weather/office temperature needs, as well as easy to maintain. It may seem that a JSK and a blouse is the same amount of effort to wear as a skirt and a blouse, and physically that’s true. But factoring in emotional effort, even though I’m confident in my own style and am lucky enough to work with people who are happy to indulge me, there is something so quintessentially lolita about the JSK and blouse combo that feels like another step. I know that it won’t provoke awkward questions from my co-workers, though it could attract some stares from others on campus, which is something that needs to be considered before I decide to take that step. As such, OPs and skirts are just easier, as well as better in terms of managing temperature because of fewer layers.

Now, skirts are not a problem, never really were. Every one of my lolita skirts (bar those bought during lockdown plus two) has been worn to the office. I enjoy them as many look good enough without a petticoat for super casual/otome outfits, and are usually simple in cuts. Moreover, they’re usually the cheapest lolita main piece to buy, as well as common to find second hand (thank you, Meta). OPs, on the other hand, feel a lot harder to justify. Skirts are very versatile once you figure out how to style them, but OPs by their very nature are not. This never bothered me with my Axes Femme OPs and I never felt bad for rewearing them in the exact same ways for work - so why is that mindset changing as soon as it’s a lolita OP? Some of this likely comes down to the difference in investment, both monetary and emotional. Finding a fully shirred shirt (i.a. a guaranteed fit) at a low price is much easier than finding an OP that’s guaranteed to fit (so either fully shirred or the right size) without spending at least double the price of most of my skirts, certainly closer to the cost of a JSK. But the rest of that barrier is still firmly because of the label that I’ve attached to that piece of clothing: I know that it’s a lolita OP, and since I want my lolita clothes to be as versatile as possible, OPs come last on my priority list.

All three are undeniably lolita skirts in various degrees of obviousness. And I would happily wear any of them to the office (whenever that happens again). The first one is Innocent World and the other two are Meta.

The most interesting thing about everything I wrote so far is that those thoughts were typed up sometime in 2020 in a post that I hadn’t finished until now. The pandemic has been messing with my head in many ways, of which this was one, but a year later my thoughts are somewhat clearer. Time allowed me to see that what started as examining the question of “how many main pieces is enough” ended up as a realisation that I outgrew the non-lolita style that I was wearing before, in big part thanks to wearing lolita so much. I still don’t think that I’m willing to be a daily lolita or to consider myself one, mostly because of the implied exclusivity (and the internalised pressure, which is for me to work on). However, what I do understand now is that what I want is much closer to the sort of feminine expression that lolita provides and which I have not yet achieved consistently outside of it.

Whenever that question of “how much is too much” comes up in online lolita spaces, my answer remains the same: if you have more than you’re able to wear then you have too much. And I appreciate how rich that is coming from me! My privilege allows me to wear lolita a lot, plus if we extend that to all clothing then plenty of my smaller pieces don’t get worn once within a year, yet still I hold onto them. Nonetheless, as a rule of thumb this makes sense to me, as someone who wants to wear these clothes instead of merely collecting them.

This year I'm tracking what I wear properly, to make a much more in-depth most worn items post next year (and because I'm a nerd). So I know first hand that for all my ability to wear lolita a lot and the extensive wardrobe that I do have, there are lots of smaller items that have not seen a single wear so far. And I am nearly 70 documented coords into 2021 already!

So it’s because of this, because of this desire to wear the clothes and the realisation of where my style has evolved to, that I’m sat here questioning whether to expand my lolita wardrobe. That in itself is a significant step forward. It allows me to see matters more objectively and consider other practical aspects. Like ironing - whether talking about The Before Days or now, whilst I don’t mind ironing in principle, it’s one of the chores I like most, I don’t have the emotional energy to set up an ironing board every time I need to de-wrinkle one item, and a garment steamer doesn’t always cut it. Because at this point I am old enough to know that promises of “from now on” end up more like typical New Year’s resolutions, i.e. guiltily dropped after a week or two.

Between the understanding of where my head and style are at and the desire to be a more conscious consumer, the titular question becomes easy to answer because “should” is not the word that fits into this narrative. I may want to grow my lolita wardrobe, but rationally I know that I am better off not doing so. Moreover, wanting to expand my collection triggers the instincts that we all know all too well: browsing Lolibrary for inspiration, followed by browsing every sales outlet imaginable for potential purchases, until we make reality fit in with our wishes by willing a matching piece to appear somewhere and convincing ourselves that this is the one that we should add. I won’t call anyone out on that, but I’m sure you know that scenario all too well. It could be a great item, it could get tonnes of wear and be an overall good purchase - but was it one that really needed to be made? Probably not.

Do I regret sort of impulse buying this dress? No. But would I have bought it if I focused on sticking to my wishlist or if I was guided exclusively by reason? Also no.

In other words, as my style outside of lolita evolves to one that goes much more hand in hand with lolita than it previously had, I cannot deny the urge to supplement my wardrobe with a few more pieces. And if I haven’t yet, then I likely will add them to my wishlist after properly narrowing down the exact preferences that I have, from cut and colour to price and materials. This would allow me to keep an eye out and make that purchase when something like this appears rather than intentionally go out looking for something like that. But none of these are any urgent needs and none would necessitate doing anything different to what I have been doing so far anyway.

Moreover, since what I actually want is a shakeup of my clothing options outside of lolita, the additions that I may make do not need to be strictly lolita and could come from other sources. If I applied the same detail-oriented thinking to figuring out what I want in that part of my wardrobe, then it would likely aid in satisfying the need for a particular feeling sooner rather than later, potentially even before that feeling changes. Of course the pull of instant gratification of buying something ready made is strong, but with luck and patience maybe I could even resist the temptation in favour of shopping second hand and overcoming my struggles with non-lolita second hand shopping (can we normalise measurements instead of garment sizes, p l e a s e ? ! ).

Me in lolita: very specific, knows exactly what I want.
Me outside of lolita: want pretty things that fit me?
How much easier would this whole thing be easier for me if I had the same level specificity across all styles that I am interested in wearing?

All this means that rather than growing the collection that I currently have, my focus should be on polishing it and working towards a wardrobe consisting of wearable items that fit my aesthetic and lifestyle. This is the way to ensuring that they will serve me for a long time to come instead of continually being replaced with whatever new mood plagues me next. Allowing, of course, for the fact that changes in taste and physique are inevitable. Those we cannot predict and I certainly have had some plenty of style shifts in my mind. But if reflecting on my 10 years in lolita fashion has shown me anything, it’s that I’ve been on track to achieving the style I currently wear and for a lot longer than I was consciously aware of. So maybe, despite all this chameleon lolita nonsense in my life, I am finally figuring out my style after all...